They call me EdwardScytherHands.

I went 32 years without trying the shamrock shake and it'll be another 32 years before I have another one.

ChatGPT is not therapy.

I've taken Contracts I and I still don't know???

Wife: "You don't look like a crackhead."
Me: "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said about me." ❤️

❄️ I love snow, but I ain't ready for snow tomorrow. ❄️

Kim Kardashian slams psychics who told her she'd pass the bar exam: 'All f---ing full of s---' 'All f---ing full of s---': Kim Kardashian has some choice words for the psychics who predicted she'd pass the bar exam.

Kim Kardashian slams psychics who told her she'd pass the bar exam: 'All fucking full of shit'

And now we present:
Monday: Part 2.

How do people not like candy corn?

*Tries so hard to not become the class clown. 🤡 *

I haven't been this trauma bonded since I was part of highschool theatre.

My apathy has shifted into high gear.

stop trying to make civil war happen

Man these intrusive thoughts are just working overtime this weekend, huh?

"There's always a bigger fish." But conversely, there's always a smaller fish. 🐟

I've always been one to promptly reply to an email and not receive that same promptness back. But when I do I'm always shocked?

One of my old teachers asked me "what is Magic the Gathering?" And we do not have time for that lol

Do nf-t's still exist? Or do people just not talk about them anymore? (Typed it that way because scared of being bombarded by bots)

How much could one banana cost, Michael?

Travis Kelce Receives Invoice For Girlfriend’s Podcast Appearance

Travis Kelce Receives Invoice For Girlfriend’s Podcast Appearance theonion.com/travis-...

Alzara.
#ThatsItThatsThePost
#BluePrince

I hope Hannah Hart is doing okay.

Feelin cute, might do 85 torts multiple choice questions 🥰

Someone wrote "What the fuck is a contract?" On the whiteboard and... same. #JustLawSchoolThings

Tort law is actually short for tortoise law. We've learned all about how turtles sue each other. 🐢

My focus is so bad today and I keep making excuses to pick up my phone. What am I doing? There's cases to read!

How the fuck do we get a gay host on Queer Ultimatum? Was Tan France not available?

Forever in that limbo of wanting to delete fb (so many gross comment bots) and keeping it to stay in touch with people from my past. #HellScape

I have times where I think my brain just is too jammed full of stuff. Probably a sign to book a therapy session lmao

God I wish "subtweeting" was still a thing.