Hopeless Maine

Heaven and Housekeeping - Hopeless Vendetta Keeping things in order at the Squid and Teapot involved a certain amount of ceremony and a delicate balance of cooperation.

It was generally agreed that The Squid and Teapot had been running rather smoothly of late. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/03/10/h...

Seafoam Tranquility - Hopeless Vendetta On Hopeless, Maine, even redecorating with a simple lick of paint can prove challenging and problematic.

Whenever a barrel, crate or box is deposited by the sea upon the shores of Hopeless, expectations always run high. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/03/03/s...

If you fancy supporting some silliness, wave your appendages towards these.... creatures.

Straight Lines - Hopeless Vendetta When nothing happens in Hopeless, Maine, that is the time to keep a sharp lookout. Thankfully the Squid & Teapot has Drury, faithful skeletal hound.

There are days on Hopeless when nothing happens at all, and these are generally the ones that deserve the closest attention. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/02/17/s...

The afterlife of Ominous Folk - Hopeless Vendetta Whatever happened to the Ominous Folk of Hopeless, Maine? Well, they turned into Carnival of Cryptids... and they have an album out!

For though the strangeness may change, it shall never truly fade. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/02/13/t...

Holding the Gate - Hopeless Vendetta Drury the skeletal dog was missing. He had important business on the edge of Hopeless, Maine. But what was it? And would it be good or bad?

There had been more than a little excitement in The Squid and Teapot lately hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/02/10/h...

The Complaint - Hopeless Vendetta Doc Willoughby encountered an ancient ceremonial horn. Durosimi told him not to touch it, but now he's blown it.

Doc Willoughby, you will remember, had blown an ancient ceremonial horn hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/27/t...

Object 142 - Hopeless Vendetta You may remember that Winston Oldspot, the Night-Soil Man, had found an ornate horn which Reggie Upton insisted was of Viking origin, and called a lúr. Winston was keen to find out what sound it made ...

You may remember that Winston Oldspot, the Night-Soil Man, had found an ornate horn which Reggie Upton insisted was of Viking origin, and called a lúr. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/20/o...

The Last Mince Pie - Hopeless Vendetta Mince pies are special. Some, more than others. The Squid & Teapot's last mince pie is meant for someone... but who?

The edge of the new year had arrived and there was still one lone mince pie left. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2026/01/06/t...

The Measure of a House - Hopeless Vendetta Even on Hopeless, Maine, Christmas comes to the Squid and Teapot. Time for a heart warming tale from Mr Squash.

The fire in the public bar of The Squid and Teapot had settled into that most companionable of moods. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/23/t...

The Green Children - Hopeless Vendetta Why does Mr Squash the sasquatch dislike Pyralia Skant? And how do two mysterious children (a long way from Woolpit) fit in?

Mr Squash shifted on the settle that he single-handedly filled, and the aged black oak complained with an ominous creak. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/16/t...

A Welcome Visitor - Hopeless Vendetta Christmas time for the island of Hopeless, Maine and Philomena Bucket decided to gather some holly for decorations.

It is my belief that, for most people, the best part of Christmas lies in its anticipation. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/09/a...

Mysterious Transmutations - Hopeless Vendetta Can Philomena undo the damage Durosimi had wrought on the liminal space. Will she use the word that Pyralia had given her?

Although she felt it her duty to set things right, Philomena had never thought of herself as being anyone’s idea of a heroine. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/12/02/m...

Whisky Galore - Hopeless Vendetta Customers of the Squid and Teapot were enjoying the best food that ever was served in the establishment. Just how long would that last?

In all of its long history, the Squid and Teapot had never smelled so good. It was almost unnerving. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/25/w...

To the Lighthouse - Hopeless Vendetta Things are moving on Hopeless, Maine. There's a sense of change, maybe even of some things coming to an end.

It was Philomena who first noticed that Screaming Point had moved. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/18/t...

The Reduction - Hopeless Vendetta The island of Hopeless, Maine is a mysterious and unsettling place. As Pyralia studies an ancient tome, is it about to become less or more mysterious and unsettling?

The night was thick enough to be tasted. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/11/t...

Skakka - Hopeless Vendetta Who, or what is Skakka? What are the implications of Skakka's appearance on Hopless, Maine for the islanders and for Pyralia Skant?

There are few sounds as unsettling as silence on the island of Hopeless hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/11/04/s...

Pyralia Tidies Up - Hopeless Vendetta It was a morning of suspicious tranquillity. The sky hung pale and featureless over the island of Hopeless. It was a sky so bland that it looked almost embarrassed to exist. The wind didn’t moan. The ...

It was a morning of suspicious tranquillity. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/28/p...

The Accordion That Cried - Hopeless Vendetta It ain't over till the cursed accordion stops playing... or something. Reggie Upton and Pyralia Skant investigate a musical problem.

The fog lay upon Hopeless that morning like a particularly damp quilt hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/21/t...

A New Look - Hopeless Vendetta In which Philomena Bucket questions the sartorial choices of Pryalia Skant, in regards to its influence upon the island of Hopeless, Maine.

It was a blustery morning on Hopeless, the sort of day when even the fog seemed to be having second thoughts about hanging around. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/14/a...

The River of Time - Hopeless Vendetta In which Pyralia Skant explains things. Sort of. A bit.

The snuggery of The Squid and Teapot was hushed, save for the faint crackle of the hearth. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/10/07/t...

Crowing at Midnight - Hopeless Vendetta When is a chicken not a chicken? When it's a guardian rooster! But what will the skeletal dog Drury think of this?

A week had passed since the rooster and his adoring harem of hens had arrived on Hopeless. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/30/c...

A Bedtime Story - Hopeless Vendetta A bedtime story leads to a request, an unexpected pet and a bonus breakfast item on the Squid & Teapot's menu.

Although not often mentioned in these tales, you will doubtless remember Tenzin, the young Buddhist monk who left Tibet beneath a yeti’s armpit and emerged on Hopeless through one of Mr. Squash’s mysterious portals. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/23/a...

Comfort Food - Hopeless Vendetta Normal can be a dangerous word on the island of Hopeless, Maine. But everything certainly seems normal at the Squid & Teapot. Despite the presence of Dr Pyralia Skant.

Pyralia Skant’s decision to take up residency at the Squid and Teapot had not gone unnoticed. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/16/c...

Screaming Point - Hopeless Vendetta Doctor Pyralia Skant is normally a composed, almost smug, sort of a being. But when Screaming Point arrives on your doorstep, it's hard to maintain any sort of composure.

Screaming Point has always been one of Hopeless’s more trying (not to say bloody annoying) features. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/09/s...

The Impossible Guest - Hopeless Vendetta Hopeless is not the sort of place that gets passing trade. Nobody stops for a few nights and moves on. And yet, here was Mr Delkin...

The first thing anyone noticed about the man who called himself “Mr. Delkin” was that his boots were new and impossibly clean. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/09/02/t...

Somewhat dark comeic fantasy. Highly entertaining. Also, we love Sloth, and supporting them is always good.

The Lamp of the Penitent - Hopeless Vendetta Reggie Upton had sacrificed his shadow in a bargain with the Marsh-Thing. It is a sad thing indeed to lose one's shadow. But could Reggie get it back?

It is not easy being a gentleman without a shadow. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/26/t...

The Rookery Pact - Hopeless Vendetta Once again it is up to Dr. Pyralia Skant and Granny Bucket to shelve their differences to address a disturbing pact, while Philomena looks on in exasperation. Quothe the Raven: "Shinies!"

Neville Moore had never seen Lenore, his pet raven, in such a state. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/19/t...

Thawing - Hopeless Vendetta If you are going to tackle an icy menace, ineptly conjured up by Durosimi O’Stoat, then what you need – apparently – is a ghost and a scientist of questionable provenance!

Granny Bucket and Doctor Pyralia Skant had formed an unlikely alliance to thwart one of Durosimi O’Stoat’s more spectacularly bungled spells. hopeless-maine.co.uk/2025/08/12/t...