Bird

Every.Damn.Day

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Governor Polis Orders Flags to Half-Staff to Honor the Anniversary of September 11th and the Passing of Charlie Kirk

Someone shot up my kid's school today, and our governor is paying tribute to a guy who thought that is an acceptable price to pay for having the Second Amendment.

Jared Polis has failed Colorado.

I guess he really really didn’t wanna meet with JD

At this point it is exactly what I expect from her

i am ready to make an official statement: it is extremely funny that wendy's had to backtrack their comment about leaving katy perry in space, it is extremely funny that katy perry decided to engage in beefing with a fast food restaurant, and it's deeply embarrassing for all involved. thank you

Dealing with a patient who got a $48,000 bill because United healthcare decided they were old enough to have Medicare so they should’ve just opted for it instead of their commercial insurance that they have that they’ve been paying for with United healthcare

If Trumpty-Dumpty is working with the Russians to screw up America, he's doing a great job. Eggs, $11 a dozen. Health & Human Services down the dumper, ditto VA. If you call Social Security, they tell you to call back later. Guys 'n gals, this is more fucked up than Peter O'Toole on his birthday.

Me. Last night.

And the way Nancy fucked her over for the committee stuff actually put me over the edge and Nancy lost my support

Ditto

Well you are helping to make sure there isn’t a govt soon enough.

Nah. Gfy.

And he still let us down

@durbin.senate.gov vote no.
Simple.

Same

Yeah fuck Chuck.

Good morning to everyone but @schumer.senate.gov

How did that voice just pop into my head so easily…

Jesus fuck read the room and zip it

Oh, there’s Joe being an apologist for the orange one again. This is why I need to go back to not watching the news.

SpaceX is actually ACME, isn’t it

Thank you.

What?

Ya know what? Same.

Lowest point so far…

They do not believe it’s happening

Baby girl, that was true your president would be in jail and not the White House

Melania

I’m so goddamn sick of people saying Travis Kelce is supporting Donald Trump. Had the man answered that question saying anything despairing about Trump it would have put his girlfriend in further danger and his job. The man knelt with his teammates during the national anthem 1/

You are not powerless, and he is not unstoppable. Look at, and learn from, the funding freeze and how quickly he was forced to surrender.