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Prairie Dog Monochrome And Another Thing You Had Coming

I hope it stays there so I can go back. Did I mention I'm thinking about the time machine again.

I love Patrick Kindlon as much as the next person who likes words In a certain order but "better a child dies than not experience subculture" stayed in 2011 and I hope it stays there

I'm mad because I'm stupid so I guess I'm stupid for always being so fucking mad right

Everyone autism until you're too fucking annoying in which case get fucked which checks out my tether is too short but I can't afford the elongation which means I can neither work tech or live in London to catharsise or hang out with people who assault my friends what fucking joy alterity brings

You treat your dogs like babies and your babies like dogs while I can't tell the difference between what whimper in my own head is either inner child animus or just plain stupidity just plan your journey plan your journey plan your journey get off at the next stop and catch your breath maybe

AI as currently implemented is worse than awful, it's trivial. AI being contemptible doesn't negate the very idea of "intellectual property" is also trash and a weapon used by industry to gatekeep, fabricate scarcity and punish outsiders.

Granola bar half a spliff pint can of carlsberg three drains magpies and other superstitions get shouted at from moving cars while stimming with a knackared shredded bus ticket just like how you were flipped off by the man in the flat bed truck I spent all night throwing up bro give me a break

We are all merely grain weevils

Oh how I needed you this morning

I am spending a lot of time attempting to decompress and keep in the tears on my front step. I like how the clouds look when they're illuminated by the streetlights. It must be the combination of specific hues. Not a poetic bone in my body to describe whatever aptly.

Yesterday was really nice though. Slept a lot, are food with Zoe and we watched more of The Bear. We then just loafed around and played games, I tidied my room somewhat and managed to do a whole job application in one go, which I'm v proud of. It's nice to know you can stick to things sometimes.

Still not immune from the breakdowns and meltdowns. I know ill never be, but I also simply hate going through them.

"great guy though" fuckin bodies me every time

Uh oh she's listening to basketball shoes again

Morning. Back to feeling completely hopeless then. What fun while it lasted.

I think I am terrified of intimacy really. Terrified of finding out what my boundaries are.

One thing about this whole attempting to focus on myself first and foremost thing is that when I'm not with Zoe I really do feel very lonely. I feel so very outside of everyone's lives, outside of any and all alterity. How do you strike a balance?
I probably need to be more patient.

Just attempting to live in the present and not look forward a terrible amount. Trusting myself to not make decisions out of fear but confidence that I know what's best for myself.

A very challenging week.
Fingers sliced open, a+e visited, ending long distance relationships, difficult conversations about intimacy, figuring out how to maintain a healthy work/brain balance....
.... I'm still going! Still doing it!!

She's saying good morning :)))

Thanks Jon, all the best mate xx

My buddy Lobo who drums for Awakebutstillinbed might be able to put you up in Chicago!! I'll ask him and let you know :))

I warned you about those Skeets bro, I told you dawg!!!

Once again well rested. I cant get enough of this feeling!! Is this what I've been missing out on? Has the looking after myself of it all finally clicked??

What's up buttercup??

I ate a gorgonzola Arancini and an aubergine Parmagiana (spelling?). It had lots of polenta in it which is one of my favourite textures but now I am far too full, and have loafed too much to sleep !! What a lovely problem to have.

Another lovely day of doing absolutely nothing. We woke up at 7 and smoked a joint and I went back to sleep while Zoe played games. I made us a nice meal and met her a couple more hours later after she saw Barbie and we ate Italian food in bed. She is now snoozing away and I am gargantuanly in love

From now Joni protects me from above while I sleep - the amazing insert from the original asylum run of Hejira. Also some lovely memories on a pinboard, little images and whatnots from the last 12 years. I want to get more stuff that I can wake up smiling at lovely fizzy shapes or maybe plants??

While I'm so sad to have had to drop out of these shows with gender warfare in terms of making their lives more difficult and also the slight fomo, I'm very glad and proud that I have let my little brain rest. I went to get kitchen stuff from Wilko and Zoe helped me make my room look cozy :))