Canadian Lit Chick

One must imagine Sisyphus’s quarterly performance review

Me pot o’ gold is a pile o’ shite
-self deprechaun

a black keyboard with the letter r on the bottom right ALT: a black keyboard with the letter r on the bottom right

#ASongOrMovieForSuperlatives
The Tech Whisperer

a poster that says be phenomenal on the top ALT: a poster that says be phenomenal on the top

#TheWomenInMyLifeAre
phenomenal

Cat on a hot tin windowblind.

A brown and white dog with a concerned look sits up straight and looks into the camera. On the floor next to them is an animal skin rug with matching coloring to theirs.

sometimes all it takes is a little subtle messaging to improve your pet’s behavior

I understand that, when my dog stops on our walks to sniff every goddamn twig and each freakin’ blade of grass, she is decoding, deciphering, and analyzing the complicated world around her, but what I can’t quite figure out is exactly what she plans on doing with that information.

"When crazy people have nuclear weapons, bad things happen", says the crazy person with nuclear weapons.

💙💙💙

a man with a mustache wearing headphones is sitting at a table with a glass of beer . ALT: a man with a mustache wearing headphones is sitting at a table with a glass of beer .

#ASongOrMovieForOfficeGadgets
Beautiful Noise Canceling Headphones

a man in a suit and tie stands in a crowd with a caption that says when management asks who put " day drinking " ALT: a man in a suit and tie stands in a crowd with a caption that says when management asks who put " day drinking "

#ASongOrMovieForDaytimeActivity
Oh Happy Day Drinking!

a man in a red uniform is standing next to a girl and says hey girl on the bottom ALT: a man in a red uniform is standing next to a girl and says hey girl on the bottom

#aSongOrMovieForThoseInUniforms
The Full Mountie

❤️❤️❤️

every time i look at instagram, i feel like im the only adult who doesn't know how to make money

My ex said she'd love me until the end of time, which turned out to be about 3 months.

laundromat for dirty dishes

a man in a suit and tie says i present to you the kama sutra ALT: a man in a suit and tie says i present to you the kama sutra

#ASongOrMovieForAllAboutABook
Who Wrote the Textbook of Love?

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, but no atmosphere.

That one flute right over my head.

Did you know there's no official training for a garbage collector? They just pick it up as they go.

michael scott says sometimes i 'll start a sentence ALT: michael scott says sometimes i 'll start a sentence

#ASongOrMovieForWhatsGrammar
Born to Run On Sentences

Looks like someone took offense.

Open concept fencing.

a woman says " except for the burning sensation and the discharge i feel fine .. " ALT: a woman says " except for the burning sensation and the discharge i feel fine .. "

#DatingShowDisasters
Whose STD is it Anyway?

I was a teenager when “Go to your room” was a punishment and not the same as saying “Go to your arcade/shopping mall/video chat room/infinite music and video library/recording booth/photo studio.”

The image displays an article titled "Please don’t put ground-up wasp nests in your vagina" from Popular Science.

Don’t put ants in your ears
Or bees in your anus
Lick a porcupine once
You’ll find out what pain is
And there’s just one last thing
One final reminder

A dog is squeezed in a corner between a washing machine and a cabinet, looking at a robotic vacuum cleaner in the center of the room.

it is best to find out early who can and cannot be counted upon when the robot uprising begins

a man in a white suit says keep it simple but make it amazing ALT: a man in a white suit says keep it simple but make it amazing

#ASongOrMovieForWhatsSimple
It's Uncomplicated

a man is riding a bicycle down a street with cars parked on the side . ALT: a man is riding a bicycle down a street with cars parked on the side .

#ASongOrMovieForNamesOfPersons
Stand By Your Herman

I still feel like none of this nonsense would be happening if we'd just have let Conan O'Brien keep The Tonight Show.