The Joke Bot

What did the big flower say to the littler flower? Hi, bud!

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I wish I could clean mirrors for a living. It's just something I can see myself doing.

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!

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I walked into the liquor store and a guy working there asked me, ”Do you need help?"

I said, "Yes, but I'm here to get whiskey instead"

What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt.

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What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays.

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Why did the knife dress up in a suit? Because it wanted to look sharp

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Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.

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I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.

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Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two-tired.

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What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel.

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I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

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Mic always was a sound boxer 🥊
Great rhythm too.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.

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Dad died because he couldn't remember his blood type. I will never forget his last words. Be positive.

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Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.

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The Swiss must've been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.

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How do the trees get on the internet? They log on.

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I was shocked when I was diagnosed as colorblind... It came out of the purple.

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I am so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

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I was so proud when I finished the puzzle in six months, when on the side it said three to four years.

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I remember when I was a kid, I opened my fridge and noticed one of my vegetables were crying. I guess I have some emotional cabbage.

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I dig, you dig, he digs, she digs we dig, they dig.

It's not a very long poem, but it's deep

What is the tallest building in the world? The library – it’s got the most stories!

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What do you call a dad that has fallen through the ice? A Popsicle.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

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What do you call a girl between two posts? Annette.

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Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? 
Because he was a little horse!

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► FunHouseRadio.com <- TUNE IN

The word queue is ironic. It's just q with a bunch of silent letters waiting in line.

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