Starfire’s Deranged Neocon Foreign Policy Podcast

Blue from pokemon

“Hey, remember when my aging grandpa forgot my name and you told him it was BOOGERS? That’s all he calls me now. It’s been thirty years.”

*shrug* I sided with Fantasy Poland anyway because my character was Fantasy Polish and I'm stubborn like that.

I mean, it’s been a minute since I’ve played it, so perhaps I’m wrong about this, but IIRC, Witcher 3 is worse than Skyrim in terms of your complaints. Not played enough ESO to judge there.

Simulate DEEZE gas prices.

Mister Trump showing the woke commie postmodernists what for by giving them a Gulf War that really does take place.

Apparently they decided to make a Pokemon version of Animal Crossing and the writers got a bit carried away.

Me: Wow, things have been depressing lately. Maybe the new Pokemon game people are talking about will cheer me up.

Wikipedia: Okay, so remember all those places from your childhood memories? They’re all apocalyptic shitholes now. Humanity is gone, presumed extinct. All the Pokemon are sad.

Hello Hello Do you like my hat? I do not. Good-by! Good-by!

Not sure why but this little scene from Go Dog Go popped into my head:

A digital illustration, a low angle showing Link and Zelda facing away. Link has his hands on his hips, Zelda is tilting her head looking at a map. In the background is Peach's Castle, from the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario, in his boxers, is jumping angrily from the castle's bridge toward Link and Zelda. Peach is on the castle balcony looking shocked with her hand over her mouth.

Oh, it’s Mar10 day.

Please enjoy this drawing I made of Mario in his boxers charging from Peach’s castle to confront the lost trespassers from an another universe.

Chinese checkers is a German game

Wait. What the fuck?

People think Palestine is a cheat code to winning an argument no matter what but it doesn’t work like that. “But Palestine!“ is a perfectly valid reason to oppose selling F-35s to the IDF. But you can’t just whip that out for whether Spider-Man could beat Squirtle at Chinese Checkers.

You know I’m right.

Surreal how the shit is hitting the fan and yet so far my life hasn’t been impacted. So half my brain is recoiling at the impending social-ecological collapse of the Middle East and half is thinking about how Chikorita is a good Pokémon because it combines the best elements of a dog and a banana.

Q: How do you see this war ending?

Steve Witkoff: I don’t know.

It's simple. Just announce the war is over every morning before the stock market opens. Then right after it closes double down with threats of an even bigger, longer war.

Just do this every day forever. The war and the market siloed off in two alternating realities that never meet.

Yarvin even said we’re bombing Tehran because we can’t bomb Brooklyn! My half-shitpost, half-serious answer is that it’s because they’re jealous someone else accomplished their dream

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

it's very much complete folks, look everyone is saying it bsky.app/profile/fint...

why are they even mad about 9/11 when they hate new york more than osama did

They’re calling at the most open strait in history folks, just unfettered commerce

sewers with a thieves‘ guild, giant rats and goblins, things of that nature.

Starfire wins on time

Did I deserve this win? No.

Was it obnoxious to stall for time when it became clear I had a massively losing position but a clock advantage? Probably.

Did ELO number go up? Hell fucking yeah.

…oh God, he doesn’t know the difference between a Tomcat, a Hawk, and a Tomahawk, does he? Like, he heard Tomcat with a Hawk in a briefing.

Karl Marx on the American Civil War:

I think the theory insofar as one exists is that they can get him to blunder a carrier if they double dog dare him and call him a pussy.

I swear the computer coach lady’s voice drips with pure, hateful contempt whenever I turn a win into a stalemate.

My most embarrassing chess blunder tendency is that I sometimes forget the concept of “backwards” which can lead to some dumb moves.

A lot of people don't know this but the straight of Hormuz closing is actually a carefully orchestrated conspiracy. If a tanker blows up and spills oil everywhere, the Dawn dish soap marketing team already has supply caches in place to get footage of birds being cleaned up asap

An aircraft carrier is blown up with a big laser beam

Having said that, Iran probably pulls a Zero Hour just to make me look like a fool on the internet, knowing my luck.