your friend julie

gifting me a kitchen item that isn't dishwasher safe is now considered an act of war

Every time I see a custodian empty the recycling into the trash and then cart it away together, I want to bother with recycling less

the way my brain refuses to switch its current foreign language setting from German to Spanish is so annoying especially when I know that I have the Spanish in there somewhere 😂💀

the most unrealistic thing about yellowjackets is that the girls are still wearing their bras after months in the woods

As the most chronically online friend, i often feel like the Kool aid cryptid bursting through the wall with terrible context

Millennials who don't know the Loss comic fascinate me. Like, how is this possible, what choices could I have made differently, etc.

with the way some people are acting, I feel like I should list the carton of eggs in my fridge (that I bought two months ago and only ever used 2 of) on Facebook marketplace for best offers only

losing weight on purpose is violently swinging between "i hope no one notices my body" and "if someone doesn't tell me how skinny i look soon i will start biting" and i can't tell you which reaction it will be until after you've spoken to me

so like, do we have to pay taxes this year or do you think the IRS will cease to exist by filling deadline

I'm just a girl watching her food delivery driver get further and further away on the map

I can't believe ancient Romans had heated bath tiles and I don't

The former public library worker in me was like "oh that probably happens all the time" and then I was immediately thankful I no longer have to deal with the public 😂

a cartoon dog is drinking from a cup with a measuring cup in its mouth ALT: a cartoon dog is drinking from a cup with a measuring cup in its mouth

Max is such an underappreciated service animal

my brain is built different (always remember what the dot on the i is called because *I* am fan of itty bitty tittLes obv)

I would say the grad student is much more likely to actually read it if you give them a sentence or two about why it's important 😂

hahahahahahaha no wait it's iconic

Stylish but illegal monkey found roaming IKEA Photo of a small monkey in a tiny wool coat

happy stylish but illegal ikea monkey day to those who celebrate

did you see the stuff online. it’s crazy

I feel like I hear "how are you one of the smartest people I know but also so dumb?" more than the average person idk

I just thought they were for funsies 🤷‍♀️😅

The surface of a light brown wooden table with a small dark brown bowtie shaped patch

TIL the little bowties on wooden tables are not in fact to make them more dapper (that's a side effect) but are basically a bandaid for the wood surface so it stays together in places where there's a natural split

A better poker face 😅 or maybe anything I cook or bake is always delicious

Little cartoon guy lifting up the top of their head to reveal an empty cavity full of wriggling worms and saying “pretty cool right?”

Posting

Full disclosure, living "rent-free in my head" is not exactly the real estate windfall it's been made out to be. That neighborhood has a TON of issues.

a sheltie dog laying on the couch looking forlorn

she is so annoying (i would die for her)

a sheltie dog laying on the couch looking forlorn

she is so annoying (i would die for her)

status: signing off on work emails with "God willing and the creek don't rise etc etc etc 🫠"

* I do not do Thanksgiving with any family members, only friends I really like 😂

the hardest part of Thanksgiving is keeping the cat out of the kitchen

Screenshot from a recipe page reading: test Kitchen Tips: For a kick of spice, double the black pepper in this green bean casserole recipe to 1/4 teaspoon and prepare as directed.

"for a kick of spice, add some pepper" is truly some white people nonsense 😂