Pat McCaffrie

Can we get him on Triple M breakfast?

Then fucking leeeeave dude

Wait oil tankers are called "merchant ships"?

So BP's just sending some dude with a jar of cinnamon sticks and saffron threads in exchange for a barrel of unleaded this whole time?

There was "at worst, a troubled setllement" of Australia...?

Is that like you how were an adviser to Australia's "best prime minister"?

Now taking bets on whether Matt Canavan will turn up to this first press conference as leader in coal dust blackface

Were those 4 words "wow...we're both awful"?

When the world feels chaotic remember, The Guardian will always be there to go full Guardian

The Iran War won't feel real until The Age/SMH print: "what will the Middle East conflict do to Melbourne and Sydney property prices?"

US foreign policy genius: "So like, what if we took that mass shooting problem we have...but made it everyone's problem too?"

Personally, I'm just happy Melania Trump is chairing the UN Security Council in a couple of days to sort this whole "Iran" thing out...

Turns out that the punishment for assaulting a journalist who works for The Oz is being forced to write for them.

Who's going to tell the AFR that defending the "ultra-elite" in the Epstein files might not be a good hill to die on?

Sweet Jesus Tony Abbott on 7:30 calling Pauling Hanson "responsible" on immigration

And "Dim Sums" is apparently the name of Taylor's economic manifesto.

Though he retains the backing of the Sizzling Mongolian Beef faction

If he says "bad migration brought sweet and sour pork" he'll lose the last retirement village voting for him.

Pauline Hanson: "Look, One Nation will work with anyone"

Barnaby Joyce & Malcolm Roberts: "Yeah...literally anyone"

Jane Hume just went "my partner is Greek and my brother in law is Chinese" so I can't be racist.

Amazing scenes.

If Angus Taylor could stop with the dead-eyed stare down the barrel of the camera and into my soul that would be great.

Why does Angus Taylor speak like the Hunchback of Notre Dame?

There's every chance Angus Taylor is realising what a shit sandwich he's inherited and is trying to work out how to back out of it...

Turnbull: "A lot of people say Angus Taylor is the best qualified idiot I've ever met"

...well at least he said Angus was well qualified.

So Angus Taylor has somehow managed to cock up his first job as opposition leader of "holding a press conference"...

Sussan Ley: "I love the western plains of NSW, the Murray and Murrumbidgee rivers and the rural communities that it has been my enormous privilege to represent"

...which is why you took 27 taxpayer-funded trips to the Gold Coast and bought property there right?

Possibly. Though I'd have thought given his Rhodes Scholarship his brain was coal-powered: expensive, ageing, and unreliable.

Got it in one

Narrator: Angus Taylor did not, in fact, have the economic brain

I really feel like a journalist is about to tell me "why I shouldn't underestimate Angus Taylor"...

If "the most high profile" resignations you've got are Paterson and Duniam, I think you have a profile problem...

Hello ladies. Meet James Paterson. A "Liberal powerbroker"...