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20.01.2026 13:47
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LinkedIn: You have four messages—
Me: No I don’t, and you know I don’t.
If in this new year you’re curious where the worst communicators in your neighborhood are, join your local Buy Nothing group.
"Honestly, this is an especially annoying time for all this bad news, because I’m trying not to drink this month. If the chancellor could stop being bonkers until I can have beer again, that would be great." #McSweeneysTop25of2025
"It is an unbearable burden. Not more unbearable than the money I would lose if I got rid of this car to materially rebuke a man I believe is evil, but it’s still pretty unbearable." #McSweeneysTop25of2025
BF and I were trying to think of what you would call a restaurant you opened that was the opposite of gluten-free and I think it’s “Gluten Prison”
Reminder to all the wedding business websites: You alter the dress before walking down the aisle to the altar, then visit a Scottish isle on your honeymoon.
I mean I /guess/ they have to put The Rock on every The Mummy Returns t-shirt design, but — stay with me— what if they didn’t?
I wonder if Tom Holland could have imagined just how many nervous systems he would one day be responsible for regulating when he did lip sync battle.
The “add coffee to a chocolate recipe and it’ll enhance the chocolate flavor!” is only true for people who like coffee.
I think I’m more upset about AI taking em dashes from me than taking my job.
One of my biggest pet peeves is SHEIN existing.
People think it’s weird to still mask because the “chances” of a bad outcome are so small, but the thing is, I personally know WAY more people whose lives have been completely changed by this virus than by a car accident (and I still think you should wear seatbelts, too).
I like those giant skeletons everyone has on their lawns but they also make me a little nervous, which is also how I feel about the skeletons everyone has in their bodies.
It’s All Hallows’ Eve not All Hallows’ Steve
Some people save bags/leave things in the bags for later, and some people throw bags away without looking in them/assuming they have no further use, and then they marry each other.
It’s been such a reliable, consistent, and arguably comforting pattern that I’ll actually be kind of sad on the day when Etsy’s “saw something you might like” emails are anywhere close to being right.
I am “really excited about our new shoe rack” years old.
Has anyone talked about the east coast privilege of waking up to way fewer emails?
Wedding dress shops say, “okay girlfriend!” the way The Bear says, “yes chef.”
Explain it to me like /you’re/ five years old.
Thoughts and prayers for all the MAGAs who gleefully bought cybertrucks www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
*me living my life*
Loud Stranger: why is she wearing a mask—
Me: Because I am the Phantom of this Operaaa!
Everyone in the Mission Impossibles: This mission is impossible.
Tom Cruise: It’s possible.
RFK jr’s whole deal with vaccines is a grift to funnel money away from real medicine into Big Wellness (which completely dwarfs “Big Pharma” in profit, btw).
That’s it. And it’s only going to cost us health and lives.
Just when I think I’m caught up on the live camera Big Bear eagle names and backstories (Shadow, Jackie, Sunny, Gizmo, Jackie’s jilted ex-husband Mr. B) my mom will check the feed on her phone and in a low voice say something like, “oh looks like Fiona and Fast Freddy are back.”
My neighbor across from me in the hall and I have ring cameras pointed right at each other’s doors for mutual assured destruction.
Pretty cool of everybody involved to introduce a new pope in 2005 right around the Revenge of the Sith release and then do it again this year just in time for the 20th anniversary.
When I’m reading fast RFK jr can look a lot like JKR and it kind of doesn’t matter because both make me furious.
Yep. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/thi...