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Lia Woodward

@liaawoodward

I would prefer to just tell jokes but the world is falling apart. Writer on S4&5 Disney’s Bunk’d, Episode 212 Villains of Valley View, and some pieces in McSweeney’s

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24.10.2023
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Latest posts by Lia Woodward @liaawoodward

Preview
Was a Crazy Anti-Authoritarian Political Thriller Quietly Disappeared From Theaters? 'Anniversary' is a movie about a family torn apart under a fascist American regime came and went last year. You probably didn't even know it existed.

www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv...

20.01.2026 13:47 👍 4 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0

LinkedIn: You have four messages—
Me: No I don’t, and you know I don’t.

18.01.2026 08:20 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

If in this new year you’re curious where the worst communicators in your neighborhood are, join your local Buy Nothing group.

05.01.2026 18:14 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now? Our 25th most-read article of 2025. - - -Guten tag. I’m just wondering if anybody else can relate to this feeling I’ve been having that I just can...

"Honestly, this is an especially annoying time for all this bad news, because I’m trying not to drink this month. If the chancellor could stop being bonkers until I can have beer again, that would be great." #McSweeneysTop25of2025

29.12.2025 13:30 👍 67 🔁 14 💬 2 📌 1
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This Five-Hundred-Word Bumper Sticker on My Tesla Explains Why I’m Not a Bad Person Our 17th most-read article of 2025. - - -Right now, you’re behind me, within reading distance on the freeway, at the stoplight, in the parking lot...

"It is an unbearable burden. Not more unbearable than the money I would lose if I got rid of this car to materially rebuke a man I believe is evil, but it’s still pretty unbearable." #McSweeneysTop25of2025

31.12.2025 01:35 👍 70 🔁 11 💬 1 📌 1

BF and I were trying to think of what you would call a restaurant you opened that was the opposite of gluten-free and I think it’s “Gluten Prison”

23.12.2025 12:11 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Reminder to all the wedding business websites: You alter the dress before walking down the aisle to the altar, then visit a Scottish isle on your honeymoon.

17.12.2025 10:36 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I mean I /guess/ they have to put The Rock on every The Mummy Returns t-shirt design, but — stay with me— what if they didn’t?

17.12.2025 10:32 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I wonder if Tom Holland could have imagined just how many nervous systems he would one day be responsible for regulating when he did lip sync battle.

13.12.2025 08:34 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

The “add coffee to a chocolate recipe and it’ll enhance the chocolate flavor!” is only true for people who like coffee.

12.12.2025 22:15 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I think I’m more upset about AI taking em dashes from me than taking my job.

29.10.2025 18:09 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

One of my biggest pet peeves is SHEIN existing.

23.10.2025 09:14 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

People think it’s weird to still mask because the “chances” of a bad outcome are so small, but the thing is, I personally know WAY more people whose lives have been completely changed by this virus than by a car accident (and I still think you should wear seatbelts, too).

18.10.2025 03:12 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I like those giant skeletons everyone has on their lawns but they also make me a little nervous, which is also how I feel about the skeletons everyone has in their bodies.

17.10.2025 10:52 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It’s All Hallows’ Eve not All Hallows’ Steve

05.10.2025 04:03 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Some people save bags/leave things in the bags for later, and some people throw bags away without looking in them/assuming they have no further use, and then they marry each other.

13.09.2025 19:56 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

It’s been such a reliable, consistent, and arguably comforting pattern that I’ll actually be kind of sad on the day when Etsy’s “saw something you might like” emails are anywhere close to being right.

31.08.2025 01:08 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

I am “really excited about our new shoe rack” years old.

13.08.2025 21:04 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Has anyone talked about the east coast privilege of waking up to way fewer emails?

10.08.2025 15:54 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Wedding dress shops say, “okay girlfriend!” the way The Bear says, “yes chef.”

16.07.2025 17:27 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Explain it to me like /you’re/ five years old.

08.06.2025 08:52 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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Trump's conflict with Musk explodes into a public feud Trump said he had a "great relationship" with Musk but that "I don't know if we will anymore."

Thoughts and prayers for all the MAGAs who gleefully bought cybertrucks www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...

05.06.2025 19:41 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

*me living my life*
Loud Stranger: why is she wearing a mask—
Me: Because I am the Phantom of this Operaaa!

03.06.2025 09:52 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Everyone in the Mission Impossibles: This mission is impossible.

Tom Cruise: It’s possible.

29.05.2025 04:30 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

RFK jr’s whole deal with vaccines is a grift to funnel money away from real medicine into Big Wellness (which completely dwarfs “Big Pharma” in profit, btw).
That’s it. And it’s only going to cost us health and lives.

28.05.2025 23:58 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Just when I think I’m caught up on the live camera Big Bear eagle names and backstories (Shadow, Jackie, Sunny, Gizmo, Jackie’s jilted ex-husband Mr. B) my mom will check the feed on her phone and in a low voice say something like, “oh looks like Fiona and Fast Freddy are back.”

27.05.2025 04:28 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

My neighbor across from me in the hall and I have ring cameras pointed right at each other’s doors for mutual assured destruction.

25.05.2025 10:44 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Pretty cool of everybody involved to introduce a new pope in 2005 right around the Revenge of the Sith release and then do it again this year just in time for the 20th anniversary.

09.05.2025 02:08 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

When I’m reading fast RFK jr can look a lot like JKR and it kind of doesn’t matter because both make me furious.

04.05.2025 10:01 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Yep. www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/thi...

02.05.2025 17:03 👍 91 🔁 16 💬 1 📌 0