Alasdair Clift

me when I’m in a competition for the most terrible, batshit, utterly insane and completely pathetic rolling stock strategy and my opponent is First/MTR South Western Railway

(No I don’t normally use Grindr myself I just created a blank profile purely for the silliness, with help from my boyfriend)

Did an experiment today:

Went to the NEC (where Reform UK were holding their party conference) and opened Grindr.

There was a suspiciously large number of 40+ year old “down low” men as well as young male bottoms who specified “no trans” in their bio.

Curious…

Death of Stalin scene, Michael palins character saying "Stalin would be loving this"

"The regime is experiencing Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly"

I feel like it’s the case most of the time these days - I could swear that I end up on an Urbos 100 at least twice as often as I end up on an Urbos 3

Independent Alliance (Kent) Party Logo

Independent Alliance (Kent): 4/10

Looks more like a local village football club than a political party, but that sort of works for these local parties. The tree is overly detailed though and the signpost just looks weird.

omg that’s exactly what it is how did I not realise

Scottish Socialist Party logo

Scottish Socialist Party: 3/10

Did someone make this in word art? The font looks dated and the star just looks a bit crap. Looks more like the logo of a continuation party of a former Eastern European communist party that collapsed upon democratic elections being held

Propel party logo

‪Propel: 7/10‬

‪Welsh dragon goes hard as always. Colours are good, font is nice. However the diagonal cuts a little too close to the wording and the dragon for my liking. Plus it loses points for not really fitting on a ballot paper‬

Kingston Independent Residents Group logo

Kingston Independent Residents Group: 5/10

Nice colours, font isn’t too bad. But what the fuck is going on with that hand 😭

Honestly I can’t remember but that’s what it reminded me of

Workers Revolutionary Party

Workers Revolutionary Party: 2/10

They just typed out their name, then made the “W”, “R”, and “P” a slightly different shade. Perhaps the lowest effort yet. At least it has colour i guess 😒

Women’s Equality Party logo

Women’s Equality Party: 8/10

This one looks great, the big W and the more hidden E look cool, and the font is soooo nice. Suffragette colours are an extra bonus. Another one sadly consigned to history though, they dissolved last November ☹️

Consensus: 0/10

They literally don’t have a logo, at least from what i can find. Their leader seems to have joined Reform UK a while back, before the election, so why they’re even listed i have no idea

Animal Welfare Party logo

Animal Welfare Party: 4/10

It’s not too bad, but the middle looks more like a second A rather than a W. Plus, the font at the bottom does not match at all

Abolish the Welsh Assembly Party logo

Abolish the Welsh Assembly Party: 3/10

The font is alright, if a little silly, but that logo is boring af. It just looks meaningless, like they oppose the existence of squares. Still, at least it’s the right colour for them

English Constitution Party logo

English Constitution Party: 2/10

What - no colour??? It literally has the St George’s flag, at least make that red. Plus there’s a big slogan around the outside. Pretty low effort. The shield is a nice shape, though, which is why it’s not a 1/10

The North East Party logo

The North East Party: 1/10

This is just their name (written twice for some reason), with a random photo of the Angel of the North. They could have *at least* used an icon of the Angel of the North. The fact they didn’t bother is not just bad, it’s offensive to my eyes

Alliance for Democracy and Freedom (ADF) party logo

Alliance for Democracy & Freedom: 4/10

I mean, it does the job I guess. Just a bit boring tbh, and the randomly-placed family just seem like a bad attempt at copying the Scottish Family Party. If anything it looks more like a weird evangelical religious organisation. Not great

True & Fair party logo

True & Fair Party: 5/10

It looks modern at least, but the spiral of colours just looks messy and doesn’t give the party much identity. Plus, there’s a slogan on it. STOP PUTTING SLOGANS ON YOUR LOGO. Overall though, could be a lot worse, but needs to be a lot better

British Democrats logo

British Democrats: 2/10

Why is the Britannia so close in colour to the Union Jack? The Union Jack is already a busy enough design as it is, putting stuff on top of it doesn’t work. Plus, the font looks basic, the text is clearly an afterthought.

South Devon Alliance logo

South Devon Alliance: 7/10

Bit boring, but it works. Kinda looks like a green and black Pepsi logo. Text seems a bit random though, and is a bit small. Overall though, not bad

Climate Party logo

Climate Party: 6/10

It’s clean and modern. The font being in italics looks a bit silly though, and the logo is a bit too abstract for my liking. Like other green parties, looks a bit too much like an energy company

Independent Oxford Alliance party logo

Independent Oxford Alliance: 5/10

The handshake is basic af, but at least it’s done well. Colours are nice, if a bit too similar to UKIPs. The font of the text isn’t too bad, but the whole layout looks a bit silly and is hard to read.

Democracy for Chorley party logo

Democracy for Chorley: 8/10

Old fashioned, but in a damn good way. A rare example of a logo that does better without colour. It’s perhaps just a little busy, but still good. However, this logo is sadly consigned to history, as the party de-registered on the 24th of July 2024 ☹️

Communist Party of Britain (CPB) logo

Communist Party of Britain: 5/10

Hammer and Sickle ofc, and it looks awesome. The font is a nice match, too. But the yellow wavy flag looks weird, the logo is too flag to make it work. Plus they should REALLY reconsider abbreviating themselves as “CP” ffs

Hampshire Independents logo

Hampshire Independents: 4/10

The arrows are okay, but I see a massive missed opportunity to move the red arrow to the right, to create a “H” for Hampshire. The font for “Independents” looks good, but “Hampshire” was obviously just tacked on there. It doesn’t even line up!

Swale Independents logo

Swale Independents: 3/10

The font for the “Si” looks a bit outdated, but not too bad. The outer ring though looks dumb, not just with their name at the top, but a SLOGAN too at the bottom. Ugh

And yes, this is the highest resolution version I could find

Liverpool Community Independents logo

Liverpool Community Independents: 6/10

The fonts are nice, and colours are too. Spiral thing looks cool, but the green drop shadow kinda ruins it unfortunately. If they found a different way to incorporate the green it would be wayyy better

Socialist Labour Party logo

Socialist Labour Party: 3/10

This looks like it’s from the 1960s, not 2024. Also the globe looks weird, even more weird when you realise ITS MISSING THE UK. THE COUNTRY THEY OPERATE IN. Also looks a bit too much like the old Starbucks logo.