"My mother had this saying, *insert very common phrase that is decades or centuries old*"
~people before the internet probably
04.04.2025 23:57
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"My mother had this saying, *insert very common phrase that is decades or centuries old*"
~people before the internet probably
shared a screenshot of the CEO's name and information.
Thinking this was a private message, I replied. "He's next. Luigi Macaroni." 3/3
The group was talking about how Kraft Mac & Cheese tastes different. They discovered it's because they no longer use real cheese. One coworker said, "Outrage! Who do I need to write a letter to about this?"
Another coworker, who I have regular private chats with and shares my sense of humor... 2/3
Accidentally threatened a CEO in the work group chat. 1/3
I'd like to travel to Norway, but there's nor-way I can a-fjord it.
Called a vet today to set up an appointment for Jasper's vaccines. She asked is age (8) and said, "OK, a senior wellness check-up."
EXCUUUUUSE ME?! There is no way this baby puppy is a senior already!!! 😭
Me: Babe, you're my calculator.
Katie: You push my buttons?
Me: Because I count on you, dammit.
"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page."
Billy Joel: This song is about a man playing the piano.
Harmonica Man: MOVE BITCH!
Join us on March 13th for Big Fat Quiz, a game show highlighting all the big events of 2024! I'll be playing, but there's a chance you could be too!
showroom.zootownarts.org/event/big-fa...
I've seen 3 separate ads from different countries today offering citizenship for Americans. Is this a sign?
Yeah, because TikTok was the data breach we needed to be concerned about. 😟
YES!!! I got invited to do a group interview for the Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the UM!!!
If you are 20 years old or older, you really are older than King Tut.
I'm proud of you.
What's the strangest (intentionally edible) thing your pet likes to eat? I was surprised that Jasper likes to eat roasted seaweed.
Mafia or insurance? You pay them for protection (because they forced you to), but as soon as you need them they'll either find every excuse not to protect you, or they'll increase your rates because now you're a risk to their business.
It's an incredible line-up! Hope to see you there!
When my kitchen is clean, I feel like I can conquer the world. All the dishes are done? Let's go write a novel.
Me: I hate when people (insert annoying behavior)
Katie: But you do the same thing!
Listen, no one hates me more than me.
3/6!
You're on the right track!
ADHDers, can you track this train of thought by this sentence that went through my head?
"All I, too, want is an English muffin man for Christmas."
Hint: There are 6 separate thoughts here.
Anyone want a tarot reading? I'm still new at it, and it's just a hobby, so I'm not charging! DM me and ask a specific question or just get a general reading on this year and next!
Someone told me that because The Golden Girls ended in 1992, I was too young to remember it. Bitch, are you too young to remember that reruns existed?
Love when I'm pissed at someone, and the best thing I can come up with is, "Go suck an egg!" Where did I get my insults, Leave it to Beaver?
"Man, she's really starting to look her age."
~me, social media stalking someone I went to school with. "I dont look like that, right?"
Check out this cheerful trio Katie got me! (Anniversary gift, but I just got them on my desk.