@tentyquarantino
Actually David | Not the sharpest basketball in the swimming pool | Ht: diet 6’ | Wt: dad bod Bat/Throw: L/L | Basically David Rose, but if he were straight | Views/opinions expressed are my own and do not reflect that of my employer
I’m mostly agree other than to say that Pete Hegseth would’ve replied saying “No, I didn’t misspeak. You misheard me. I was right, you’re just woke and stupid and deaf and stupid and I hate you.”
It was between this and “getting their limon totally fuckin cello’d” and ngl it was a tough decision haha
Yeah I had no idea going into this game that both US/Italy were undefeated
youtu.be/QGnh0q4RuQ8?...
Good lord the USA is getting their gaba totally fuckin gooled lmao
Love it when the TL lines up so perfectly
Her and Andrew Dismukes in the “two coworkers who just hooked up” bit kills me every time
Ashley Padilla is proof that Lorne’s persistence eventually pays off. When she first started I hardly ever saw her in any sketches (which isn’t atypical, but) even the ones I did see her in I was like “you could get *any* female comic/sketch comic to do this part”
She has become Kristen Wiig 2.0
The same people who didn’t give a shit about govt employees getting furloughed/laid off by DOGE are now on the senate floor proselytizing about govt employees not getting paid “bEcUdZ dA dEmOcRaTz!”
Get fucked lol
For real! Don’t threaten us with a good time
If it’s permission:
On behalf of the somewhat sane portion of our nation: you have it
Well, what are they waiting for?
Unreal choke job by the Bruins
Started the 3rd up 3-1
Lose in OT 5-4
If the guy who dodged the draft five times with a fake injury really brings back the draft irony will have died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound
The people who collectively agreed to steal this hour from my weekend are gonna catch these hands
Judge: “Is…this really just the jug of protein powder from your basket?”
Sean Duffy: “Yes, chef! I recommend just dry scooping it.”
Judge: “Where is the entree?”
Sean Duffy: “Entree deez nuts, nerd. GET THOSE GAINS!”
Chopped: Trump’s Cabinet Edition
RFK Jr: “Ch-e-efs, tod-a-a-ay I-i-i ha-ave prepa-ared brais-s-sed bea-ar wi-ith a nu-u-uclear wa-aste redu-u-ction a-and a-a si-i-ide of wha-a-le blu-ubber”
Judge: “none of these were basket ingredients”
RFK: “do-on’t kno-ock it unti-i-il you-u-u’ve tri-i-ied it”
There TF is Toro
I am genuinely begging for the Republican Party to surprise me at some point, but they just keep doing Nazi shit
We’re not allowed to call them Nazis, but they. just. keep. doing. Nazi. shit.
I’m sorry but if “you can just walk up to ‘em and grab ‘em by the pussy” can make you a two-time POTUS, then I think republicans can handle a little “god is non-binary”
So far the Trump 2.0 admin is 2-for-2 in “creating a made up position to avoid making it look like the turnover rate from Trump 1.0 is happening again”
As the news-consuming sicko I am, I can tell you all right now that Fox News is acting like a bunch of Apple fanatics who just found out exclusive information about the new iPhone model
I can’t wait for his first “that was a misspoke“ in front of the Senate/Congress
Firing Kristi Noem and replacing her with Markwayne Mullin is like shitting your pants and then using diarrhea as the laundry detergent I am so sorry
My favorite legacy media thing is when they (LOUD ATTENTION GRABBING MUSIC/SOUNDS) (graphic that says “BREAKING NEWS”) and then proceed to tell you about something that was already reported on three days ago and every day since then
I am now in my 55th year of being an imminent millionaire.
Can Pam Bondi be immediately summoned back in front of Congress now that the Dow is tanking?
Is that still an apparent prerequisite?
You don’t fucking say?
Dude is speaking at a press conference where he’s claiming to grieve four dead soldiers, but he’s rambling about saving money on gold drapes and his stupid fucking ballroom instead
Either it’s the truth (for once) or it’s just an excuse to cover for the fact that there was never any real succession plan to begin with. Either way:
Massive failure