bluejaysong

late uploads from toronto trip

i swear once i'm better i'll finally record gravity because nothing else is going to bring me back to the depths of hell i'm feeling right now and that's the energy i need to channel

started playing with da vinci for editing and dare i say i'm actually really liking it

officially locked out of my twitter/x account until support gets back to me - maybe this is a blessing in disguise

these look so good i'm drooling

day 3: food

slowly incorporating color lmao but also remembered layers were a thing hahasdlkjf;

day 2: flowers

plugged in the tablet yesterday for some docusign stuff and now i'm willing myself to start the digital art journey again.

day 1: sketches from old aquarium pictures

update: i passed my exam 😭

MEII ART!!

i think it's fine to have bad days, but i think when you view every day as a bad day due to minor inconveniences, it exudes an aura or vibe that makes it difficult for others to want to be around.

i've been dragging my feet with the pmp exam because i'm afraid i'm not prepared enough, to which i realize that i'll probably never be prepared enough. i think i have also discovered that being put through the gate program at a young age made me afraid of failure

"your future here looks very bright"
maybe i started burning a bit too bright
overheated, overworked, and confined
feeling limited on what i could actually do
feeling like maybe burnout was inevitable
and the illusion of what i thought i was or knew
shattered violently around me

- lightbulb.

duck :)

on. everything's fine; we work the way we should. there are no problems. off. it's your fault this is happening; you're preventing my growth. you're too much for me. on. babe, i'm sorry. i didn't mean what i said. i sweat i changed. off. have fun sleeping with other men, now that i've loosened you up for them. you should be happy i was your first. on. i'll treat you better i swear. you know i didn't mean any of it. this is what grown-up love is.

off. on the day you left - a one-way amtrak back to LA, the weight i've been carrying manifested and released itself from within me; a sigh i didn't know would relieve me. love is not supposed to be exhausting and i am not supposed to feel free; that is how i learned for the first time, what love was not.

cleaning up my icloud; an old writing piece.

some nights i miss who i was before the world hardened me and made me who i am today.

Congrats!

making a powerpoint to sum up my 2024 and my friends are telling me that i'm not beating the antisocial allegations

started watching youtube videos to get ideas for what journal method i might adopt for next year

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BUTTS
LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES

my friend sounded more excited making their salad today than i have ever heard them speak about their significant other and i think i will think about this for a while

trying to fulfill the contract? mm, doesn't quite sound like me tbh.

please, anything but snow on the beach or florida

hello! if you don't know if you're following the right person:
- i'm jenny + my handle is the same across most socials.
- i used to write a lot of angsty shit on tumblr.
- i used to stream + mod.
- i went to uci & was involved with gaming club + esports program.
- i did community stuff for b4b/trs.