𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐅𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄.

"Because I want to talk to 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

It's incredibly hard to tell if he's meaning this in a sweet, loving way or a threatening way.

Wilford sighs, putting the revolver down.

"Okay, 𝘍𝘐𝘕𝘌."

"Look, I know we're not on the air at the moment. But can we PLEASE continue the interview?!"

Maybe don't point a gun at her, 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭.

"Hey, you can't 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 do that!"

"Maybe. ."

He glances around, grinning.

"Hey man, you can say kill! Nobody's stopping you!"

I can stop you.

"Good!"

// might do a colonel event in the future 👀

He pulls a revolver, shooting and missing the bug. It moves around, and he shoots again, missing as well.

The bug lands on Clary's face, Wilford gasps. Aiming the gun at the big.

"It's on your face. . don't move. ."

CLARY STOP HIM.

"Clarissa, I've had this many interaction with many people. While thank you for the compliment, uh. . how do I explain."

Wilford ponders, resting a finger on his temple. Suddenly a bug flies into the room, startling Wilford.

"Mosquitos?! At this time?!"

The crowd let's out some confused murmurs as a nervous Wilford turns his attention to them.

"Now, heh, hold on. . we'll be right back to this interview after the break."

The commerical break begins, as Wilford sighs, relaxing.

"That wasn't how things were supposed to go."

Huh?

Wilford was in the middle of asking his next question, but he stops.

"The Colonel, huh? I guess he's. ."

It finally dawns on him what exactly she meant by that. He stammers for a second. Thinking about how to continue the interview.

"Now, the Colonel isn't. . THAT. . good looking."

Mhm. .

"( READER )! What's the definition of LOVE?"

"Get more people for your interviews Wilford. ."

"Hold on, list ALL of the people you've encountered throughout your journey! And rank them, in order of 'most handsome', to 'most beautiful'."

He tenses up again, pointing at her once again.

"Did they coerce you?"

He gasps, leaning backwards slightly.

"Did YOU coerce 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮?!"

"You know, it's weird how much I miss her."

Knowing Wilford, he probably won't.

"Let's get to know each other!"

Despite the fact they were. . eh, forget it.

"Some lowball questions, some anecdotes, some funny stories. ."

He tenses up, pointing at her.

"HOW ARE YOU 𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌?!"

"Tell me in 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 detail. ."

Wilford Warfstache! And oh, we have a 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘺 𝘦𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘥𝘦 of Warfstache Tonight! Our special quest, the one the only--"

He stops himself, pondering.

"What's your name again?"

Not even giving her time to respond, he swats away his own question.

"Eh, it doesn't matter. I'll forget anyway."

"START THE MUSIC!"

The Warfstache Tonight! intro begins to play, as Wilford relaxes slightly, messing with his hair and somehow real pink mustache.

When it ends, he perks back up, acknowledging the rowdy crowd.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! My name is

+

Wilford sighs dramatically, raising his hands up, he turns his attention back to her, a stern look on his face.

"𝘉𝘶𝘵, I'm a forgiving person. So, let's just get on with the interview."

Applause from the crowd is heard.

( #OPENRP )

"Welcome back, ( READER ), you're 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦! And the only thing I hate more than people showing up late for their interview, is people showing up early."

"AND YOU'RE ON THE VERGE OF DOING BOTH!!"

"You know, that hurts. . a lot."

"Well no, I wouldn't do that! Look at the contract!"

His signature is there. . somehow.

"Ow that. . kinda hurts?"

He pretty much brushes him off.

He grabs them by the shoulder, shaking his head.

"You already signed the contract."

"Oh c'mon! Usually people accept this interview immediately!"

"Uh. ."

He's running out of convincing things to say.

". .Ratings boost."

"I know I'm talking to that guy, simmer down voice in their head! Besides, I need the ratings boost."

"You'll get famous. ."

He grins.

"What do I want? I simply want an interview with you!"

He pulls out a clipboard with a contract on it.

"Sign this, and you'll be on my famous show!"

Warfstache.