⋆˙⟡ 𝓓𝓮𝓶𝓲

new sticker for the uwu

my once in a lifetime girl 🫶

found an absolutely incredible house back east and i am.. Really Looking. it literally has a grooming salon built into it and it’s within my monthly budget range. could even afford it on my own..

after how the conversation with my partner went last night, i felt myself just finally emotionally fully pull back. i should not be begging for my needs to be met for over a year.

30 years of Pocket Monsters #Pokemon30

good fucking lord dude

AGREE

but genuinely pokemon makes me SO HAPPY, you never know which new guy you’re gonna love or if this game is gonna click w u for one reason or the other, i swear i’ll be in The Home with my Switch 50 just having the best time

i don’t understand all the hate honestly. kanto purist? okay great they’re feeding you. new pokemon hater? yea okay you do this every time but by the game anyway. hate the concept? you know what you’re getting always, so yea it’s not for you i guess

i genuinely love pokemon so much and the new game looks so fun!! the cool thing abt it is if u dont like them there’s literally 1000+ others to choose from.

OMG THATS SOME GOOD LUCK

it’s a vintage folding bookshelf from thailand, made of mango wood, that i am refinishing. it was all dinged up, scratched, chipped, had paint on it, and was kinda dull. it’s gonna look soooo good when i finish 🥰

love to thrift lately, it’s been super relaxing.
been hunting for a bookshelf recently, bc we have been redoing charlie’s room. found one this weekend but went to buy it and it got snatched up in front of me 😭 went back to the same place today and somehow the bookshelf was there !!

her until i’m not around to anymore.

((this will get deleted and go into my diary later, just woke up from that dream and needed to vent out somewhere))

grief more palatable for others.

the truth is that loss really destroyed me in a way i never actually recovered from, just healed over. every now and then something pokes that big ugly scar and it hurts all over again. i don’t think 20, 30, 40 years down the line it’ll be any easier. i will miss

i had nightmares constantly. i didn’t feel like i could talk to anyone about how i truly felt. day of my mom told me i needed to get over it and spend time with the family.

so when i started telling others about it many years later, i created distance between myself and her loss to make my raw

putting some ‘distance’ between me and that pain was all i knew how to do at the time.

the reality was that all i could do was cry and sleep for months. i lost 40lbs. i lost my job. the family i was living with had such a hard time dealing with my grief that my uncle started treating me horribly.

i’ve gone through periods of grief where i’ve been like “oh yeah she didn’t mean THAT much to me” or “she loved me more, idk how i felt” to protect myself bc that level of loss is unbearable. they were horrible things to say but therapy helped me understand those feelings around grief better.

the same since it happened. i’m here to tell you that losing a soul mate doesn’t ever stop hurting.

i’m too afraid to love someone like that again, honestly.

her mom passed a short while ago. i used to talk to her and check in, especially when missing sam got unbearable. i don’t know what i believe in when it comes to afterlives and things like that, but truly i hope they’re together again.

time has never ever eased this loss and i truly haven’t been

had a dream about Sam where folks got together and made tribute videos for her and woke up sobbing. i miss her so much, all the time, every day, even 10+ years later.

!! PLEASE SHARE AND SPREAD THE WORD !!
Friends Of Big Bear Valley need to raise $10 MILLION by July to secure land that is under threat of luxury home developments.
The sensitive ecosystem of endangered animals and plant life must be protected!!
>> SaveMoonCamp.org <<
#art #zigzart

Happy year of the Fire Horse!
🔥🔥🔥🐎🔥🔥🔥

my job is fine or whatever but i HATE waking up at 6:30 to start my day. i am NOT a morning person like that

need to bring the eyes down lower but that’s a later issue

doodlin,

just groomed a dog that fought me so hard i can’t use my left hand but the good news is that it made me want to do art so i can get to a point where i never groom another dog again

it really is??
like i’m in the northern mountains myself and we should have a few feet of snow by now 😂

they’re reminding me to take my dogs out for a nice walk in the good weather 🤣

it’s feb tho…