Fear of a Jack Planet

Wait, is this for the theme park or a new project?

One thing I noticed is that the thugs keep moving to smaller cities.

They started in L.A. and kept pretty tame while hoping the National Guard would do their dirt.

Then tried going into Chicago but got scared.

Now getting stopped by a city with 450k people.

Next stop: rural Maine.

you don't have to put on blackface to get social media attention. you can simply develop mild depression, join a menswear forum, spend the next 15 years arguing about pants, and then weaponize the knowledge against your enemies on social media.

You're in a Hitman level. Hope you're not wearing the same outfit as a bunch of other people in your immediate vicinity

"Spill the Wine" and "Mama Told Me Not to Come" recount the events of the same party from the perspective of two guests, a cool guy and a square

In THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE a family in a remote country house prepares a meal.

Birth certificates are so funny like are you alive? I am, yes. Hmm well let me see your paperwork.

Any animal would eat you if you were small enough.

Michelle Wu’s address at No Kings was basically “We are actually awesome, cities like this and LA and Chicago are what make America great and that bothers some people” lol

Got me ready in the morning and put on my first new laceband; and so neat it is, that I am resolved my great expense shall be lacebands, and it will set off any thing else the more.

Aren't newspapers, radio stations, and TV networks also capitalist-owned media outlets?

We can admit that modern Americans are suffering an affordability crisis without suggesting that they should be jealous of Bob Cratchit

Claude AI logo

Kurt Vonnegut’s butthole drawing

Claude AI’s logo is unironically Kurt Vonnegut’s butthole drawing

Circle K has what can only be described as “Saints Row Food”

i don't mean to single out baseball fans here, because you see this in lots of fan communities, but in certain corners people talk as though baseball is real. they think all the players are real people and the stadiums are places you can actually visit. to each their own, but that cannot be healthy

*Someone's* victory must be inevitable. The truth, that the future is unpredictable, is too disturbing to admit.

And if teachers really don't have time to give students the individual attention they need and deserve then the answer is to hire more teachers. Letting students with inattentive, uneducated, or overburdened parents fall through the cracks is not acceptable.

🤨

You're aware that parents also have full time jobs, right? Helping students understand their schoolwork clearly falls within the teacher's remit.

If parents are serious about their kids' education, they don't need the excuse of homework to get involved.

If students need help with the material they should be getting it from their teacher.

Engraving two bullets with "this bullet only lies" and "this bullet only tells the truth" to really stump the FBI

I just let the gas run and don’t light the fire. The air gives me better ideas that way.

Damn, check your egg nog everyone. I just looked at the date on mine and it's expired

I'm a Zillennial and we heard it on the Nostalgia Critic

By 1976, almost nobody had previously voted for Richard Nixon.

While I got my knuckles rapped by corporate America for being rude and tasteless about a guy who dreamed of the stoning of me and everyone I love, Fox's Brian Kilmeade advocated explicitly for the state murder of all homeless people -- on live TV, no less -- to virtually no response.

Man do I regret surrendering to the idea that militant atheism was cringe

The Ezra Klein follow up video basically confirms they’re all freaking out due to pundit solidarity. It’s a big group chat and you ain’t in it.

Yeah, being uniquely aligned with wealth, the force that truly rules the world, is a great competitive advantage for an ideology. That doesn't mean it's correct.