papow

It's automated! It poops FOR you! You don't even have to use it.

Me realizing Cliff, Dale, Dell, Glen are all like names and geographic features.

Hey, this is my son Gorge.

Wait...is that where George comes from?

This is my son George who comes from the gorge.

it's all just art. "porn" is just art that makes you horny, in precisely the way that "horror" is art that makes you scared and "metroidvania" is art that makes you write video essays

A calendar widget with the text, "Nothing else today."

🕺

Yes, I need copilot to just mark all my teams notifications as read, no I don't need a summary.

what’s wrong babe you haven’t touched your 2 ingredient hormone supportive chocolate mousse

If AI is so great how come I'm not eating a new way to cook an egg

Until generative AI can make an infinite amount of weird, enormous, opulent, labyrinthian, unique mansions to explore as if I'm a part of a Maniac Mansion/Haunting/Clue/Murder By Death style hosted visted, I simply don't see the value!

#notmymom

I'm sure @unclebonnie.bsky.social already has this

Sent from the bathroom floor in a dehydrated delirium.

It's probably too tough to play hide and seek with a ghost.

I really only pay attention to "Weirdest Candy Jar." Things have gotten so commercial.

Chupacabrafragilisticexpialidocious.

Cat approved?

That's wacko.

Bit idea: I only tell jokes that require a specific accent or vocal character, but I don't do that part.

"Argh! It's driving my nuts!"

If I'm being honest with myself, I always assumed that Nickelodeon's "Double Dare" indicated the existence of a "Dare," and I wondered what I would have to do to see it.

Handcrafted artisanal apps actually a real thing.

Absolutely CRAZY that the earth is 4.54 BILLION (with a B) years old, and scientists manage to determine it was born on January 1.

Reports say Dr Ruth came back to life and is talking about something called “Dark Sex”

"On the third day of condor, the CIA gave to me..."

Every Kohl's attached to a mall is haunted. These are the rules. #thesearetherules

New fanfic: the grinch was D.B. Cooper

It'd be pretty funny if the average global temperature slowly started dropping for no clear reason. #classicpranks

In my dreams, I can truly imagine anything

You ever wonder why Kermit and Ernie sound so SIMILAR? Wonder no more!

You see, Kermit got mixed up with URSULA, the Sea Witch! And Ernie is her Muppet form with Kermit's STOLEN voice! (Think ARIEL and VANESSA!)

omg that's like half of the facebook

Four-year-olds ONLY WANT ONE THING AND IT'S to get up from the dinner table to show how fast they can run like a cheetah.

I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, but every opening band's music has a smell.