like my last therapist was good and helpful, but I never really felt anywhere near as seen and understood as I already do with this new one
having the right support that you mesh well with really is important...
not that I'm surprised... I mean they're nonbinary, their website literally has a factsheet on furries, and one of their specialties is sex therapy.. I think that says more than enough tbh...
me: "... like I wish we could all just run around like dogs and whimper and bark at each other, instead of ever having to use any words ever again..."
them: *leans back and claps* "YES... HELL YES.... oh my god... mmhm mhm..."
yeah this therapist gets it... I love them hehehehehe....
how dare the therapist make me want to cry by telling me I shouldn't have to constantly adapt every aspect of myself to be able to fit into the world... psh....
hff..... whimper.... grfffff....
"there are skills, strategies, capacity, and all those things we can do to learn to grow, and we absolutely can do all that if it helps, which is great!...
but on the flip side, maybe some parts of you are just *you*... maybe some things never should have to change..."
low effort doodle because I'm so tired but I still want to nurture my soul before I sleep... awrfff mnn nnnwuff grffff.... huff....wrrrfff wrrrruff...
goodnights... honk shoo... gentle wag...
New boy Yaman would like to say good morning, he hopes you have a great day ahead of you
He is enjoying every minute of his safe new life & wants you to feel maximum happiness today too 🫶
nods... mmm yes... we really do live in a society...
I think for lunch I will venture to find a sweet treat.. hopefully I will find one.. I deserve it
awrrufff wuff wrff awrf
sitting in the stupid dark with my stupid plushies eating my stupid biscuits like a stupid dog
don’t let anyone let you believe you aren’t worth fighting for. no matter what your issues, addictions, attractions, madness, etc may illicit from the societal pecking order.
No matter what.
No matter how many fall away.
You are worth fighting for.
I'm working on it.. I'm making the small steps to going where I need to.. slow, small steps.. it's a lot.. a fucking lot..
I don't wanna fall into a big self pity ramble, but putting my thoughts here somehow feels more comforting than just privately journaling or whatever even if nobody's gonna see this
if for some reason you've read all this then thank you for the curiosity, I hope you have a lovely night
just thinking about this shit and realising I'm so much further behind than I've ever really realised.. I'm struggling so much more than I've ever acknowledged..
the fact that my earliest memory of directly expressing an emotion to my parents was from when I was fucking 16 years old.. and it was terrifying..
like I think about that fact and all I want to do is just.. shut down.. hide.. be alone.. refuse to speak.. and isn't that just on brand... huff..
and I'm genuinely happy for them.. I would never look down on anyone for having something better than me, or something I want.. I love them and want the best for them..
but I'm just so mad at life.. that I couldn't get a little bit of the same..
I'm also clearly so.. so fucking much more autistic than either of them..
and it's not like they're generally well-adjusted or super healthy and mature or anything.. and they're definitely not the best at it but they're able to like.. do happy relationships and emotions and shit..
they didn't have to raise themselves or each other.. for a very long and intense period I was the only one there for myself and for my younger brother
until my beautiful dog came into my life, then I had someone at least.. still meaning my main emotional support was nonverbal and not even a human
then I try to be gentle and remind myself that even though we had the same parents and environments.. they both did get attention, not adequately and not always for the best reasons but they had something that I never did.. they didn't have to hide in the same ways I did..
seeing my brothers and wondering how they havent spent nearly as much energy and time into growth and healing as I have, yet they're *seemingly* so much more stable, secure and happy in their relationships.. but I'm just... I'm a fucking mess..
like we had the same parents and everything..
dogs are so cute and peaceful when they're asleep... mnn huff... awrfff...
I hope all the critters are finding comfort..
always keep doing your best to take care of yourself, you deserve it... more than ever
awruffff mmnn... wag...
I want to see a stupid dog meeting a giraffe... it would be so perplexed and amazed...
it would be me...
we can't be loved if our critter can't be loved...
biscuits and baby raffe... self care
maybe I'll get there someday hehe
there's a sad lack of giraffe content in furry art.. the world always needs more giraffe content..
man I love vague-posting you don't even have to actually be vulnerable but you get to feel all deep and smug to yourself hhehehehe
