Mabel Jessica Guster

I don’t have any direct coworkers at my job. My role functions independently. But sometimes I wish I had a reason to message a team and chat my way into a new day.

Boyfriend looking at my head intently: Did you cut your hair.
Me: I cut my bangs myself.
Boyfriend: Oh honey. You gotta stop doing that.

It is giving kid who cut their own hair before school pictures.

Steve speaks to me.

Yep. We so did.

My work friend is out of work for a month to attend mental health outpatient care. I am glad she is taking care of her health, but the whole thing reminds me of how long I went without a diagnosis and how many people I likely annoyed.

I am obsessed with the Ruby Franke drama, but it is giving me flashbacks to taking calls at the child abuse hotline.

She says ging-HAM instead of ging-uhm.

She can’t pronounce gingham either.

If this style YouTuber keeps calling robes “cardigans,” I can’t watch her anymore.

She wouldn’t pose right for Snapchat fun. It is almost like she is a cat.

Today is weird. It is raining and everything smells like smoke from wildfires.

Happy belated birthday!!

I wanted to make a phone call, so I was scrolling through my contacts and I picked my own name and called myself. My brain is not great.

Omg. This cake.

I just tried to open a door by scanning my debit card and not my work badge. That is where I am at.

The zero version has a stronger flavor even at Taco Bell, so if you like it stronger, stick to zero.

It is so weird that candy bars are advertised to fight hunger and to create satisfaction.

Oh Ashley, I know that sucks. I really hope he doesn’t get cancer again. And I also hope you feel ok about being sad. Sometimes we feel like we aren’t entitled to feelings. You totally are. All your feelings are valid, and I hope you are getting support.

We have a Sebastian at our house and that behavior would worry us too. I will think all the good thoughts I can for you and him.

There are so many questions when someone in your community blocks you but you have never had a bad interaction with them. What did I do?

Now it gets less magical and more never ending. That last month can be hard. I hope you aren’t too impatient, but how could you not be?

A blue mouse puppet from the TV show Bear in the Big, Blue House. Over it is red text that says “My heebies are fucking jeebied.”

To self: It is not gonna take long before I am using this image online.

I am sorry. That is terrible and you don’t deserve it.

I thought Push It.

Oh that makes sense. I was thinking I had been eating them wrong all this time.

Sounds about right.

Are the shells not edible?

Yeah. Their little arms have magnets. It would be better if they were possessed by affectionate souls.

Do I need socks that hold hands?

I gave a car wash my phone number so I could have a free wash, and now they are texting me all the time. The threshold for excessive car wash chatter is low