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As Sparks Fly Upwards

@fitzjohn

Failed writer, failing better. MDANT, so there's that.

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Latest posts by As Sparks Fly Upwards @fitzjohn

Mrs F is insisting on watching @cnn.com, and quite frankly I'm reassessing a quarter-century of unconditional love, if she cannot see that @jaketapper.bsky.social is a Republican shill.

11.03.2026 21:56 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Jesus, @jaketapper.bsky.social really took the fucking soup, didn't he?

11.03.2026 21:49 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

We may be on the threshold of something beautiful.

11.03.2026 21:45 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Lindy's fundamental shame, which is driving his weirdness, is not somehow enough for him split with Donnie.

11.03.2026 21:34 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ronald Reagan and his catamites fucked the US education system. The intervening time created enough fucking morons stupid enough to repeatedly vote for Donald Trump. He could bugger their children in their kitchen and they'd still vote for him.

11.03.2026 21:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Most of the shit he's done - in any fully functioning democracy - would have him dancing at the end of a rope. Or in the US of the 50s, giving off the aroma of crispy fried critter.

11.03.2026 21:19 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Tertiary syphilis should be relabeled 'That Trump bit where they go hongo zongo and try to destroy the planet, oh no... that was just him'.

11.03.2026 21:10 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Two dying bastards fighting over a planet that wants them to leave it.

11.03.2026 21:03 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Two dying bastards fighting over a planet that wants them to leave it.

11.03.2026 21:01 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I mean, I'm happy with the โ‚ฌ, but I think we should have stuck with the menagerie on our coins.

11.03.2026 20:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Pre-Euro, we had an entire menagerie on our coins.

11.03.2026 18:23 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ah. Would he by any chance be one of the Kilkenny Grubers?

11.03.2026 11:50 ๐Ÿ‘ 12 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Actually, looking at it again, that's a rather ambiguous headline. Pete *has* been a busy boy...

10.03.2026 22:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Punctuation counts.

10.03.2026 22:21 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

"An unemployed Royal, being in possession of a stonking fortune, will be in want of another one."
Probably not Jane Austen.

10.03.2026 22:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Ah yes, Iran. That bastion of unregulated gun ownership. Oh no, hang on...

10.03.2026 22:05 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I think this generation (i.e. the 80s crowd) might be slightly better at reading the room, and thinking "Y'know, California sounds OK".

10.03.2026 22:02 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Richard III's elder brothers. Which gives you some idea why he was like that. Though... was he really like that?

10.03.2026 21:58 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Eventually someone is going to have to tell Chaz, or one of his successors, that the tap is off. "You're responsible for your family. Spend it wisely. Or whatever."

10.03.2026 21:55 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Edward IV supposedly had his treasonous brother the Duke of Clarence imprisoned in the Tower, then drowned in a butt of Malmsey wine.

10.03.2026 21:52 ๐Ÿ‘ 1 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Not even fruit baskets. Fruit basket stands. PAB.

10.03.2026 21:46 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Oh no, I think they're the very people who should have to fund them. Or who else?

10.03.2026 21:44 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Alas, he doesn't have a butt of Malmsey.

10.03.2026 21:42 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

2017-2020, and since January last year, people have been appointed according to their search history.

10.03.2026 21:39 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

The point is that there's no painless way of disassembling a monarchy. If Chaz wants his *extended* family to live out a live they're used to, he's going to have to cough in a manner last depicted by Jared Harris in The Crown. But he is notoriously mean. And fabulously rich. Bad combination.

10.03.2026 21:37 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 1 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

Perhaps these 'incel' guys wouldn't be so tightly wound if Society could find it in itself to let them know that it's OK if they give each other the occasional hand job? In fact, maybe extend this to the US Cabinet?

10.03.2026 21:25 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

I'm a mere overseas bystander, I haven't even collected enough boxtops to be a US lawyer, but even I can tell every fucking one of you that that... THAT... is some serious 25th Amendment shit.

10.03.2026 21:19 ๐Ÿ‘ 13 ๐Ÿ” 6 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

If it ever existed, it wasn't a threat to America. It was a threat to Donald Trump.
*[Shrugs elaborately] *

10.03.2026 21:15 ๐Ÿ‘ 6 ๐Ÿ” 1 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

One can imagine the Cabinet initiation ceremony, and quite frankly I wish I could unimagine it now.

10.03.2026 21:12 ๐Ÿ‘ 2 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0

That explains why Lil Marco's shuffling round everywhere in shoes the size of his fucking head: he's a spineless little fucker.

10.03.2026 21:08 ๐Ÿ‘ 0 ๐Ÿ” 0 ๐Ÿ’ฌ 0 ๐Ÿ“Œ 0