Alan Aldred

Here's my bullshit prediction for the Sonic Movie 4 mid-credits sequence:

Yahya Abdul-Mateen II as Big the Cat.

Fuck it, why not?

obviously today is a huge embarrassment for Matt Goodwin and for Reform, which is something that we absolutely ought to celebrate, but we must also remember it's a huge embarrassment for Morgan McSweeney and Maurice Glasman and all the Blue Labour weirdos, and that's important to celebrate too :)

Kansas has, overnight, invalidated the drivers’ licenses of trans people, a pointless cruelty that upends their lives

If Brits think “it won’t happen here” think again! Groups in the U.K. who want the same thing are routinely invited to consult with Labour and normalised in our press!

Dear game industry: I’m going to hold your hand as I say this, but

No-one. Wants. Your AI. Bullshit.

Nobody.

There is no audience for it. Stop it.

i really do despise this mothefucker on a genetic bone marrow level, he's like a golem cobbled together by assholes, made of all the very worst american attributes

we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad

GM: Charisma check.

Mamdani: [rolls natural 20]

GM: that’s a d6 how did you

Mamdani: [direct to camera] Did you know you can check out board games at your local public library? 😊

Chart of Palantir stock crashing -26.03% in the last 30 days

If you're having a bad day, take a moment to check out this luscious scenery.

right now “illegal” is anything a billionaire fascist doesn’t like. we need to learn to call that out as the bullshit it is.

Arresting Black journalists is also vice signaling. Their base is racist and hates journalists and they want to get them excited again. The mainstream media industry has never protected Black journalists or journalists of color the way it should.

Bondi directed federal agents to arrest four journalists.

Georgia Fort, Don Lemon, Jamael Lundy, and Trahern Crews.

All Black. All doing their jobs.

Recall that Melissa Hortman and her husband were murdered not long ago by a fake cop who showed up at their door looking like this guy

The arrests of Don Lemon, Georgia Fort, and Jamael Lundy are unacceptable and a clear violation of the Constitution.

This is a dangerous abuse of power that threatens the rights of every single American.

They must be released immediately.

When I try to explain to people that investors are generally very, very stupid people this is what I mean.

I'm no financial wunderkind but I have a feeling that the stock market might not be good for the games industry.

4 Black journalists have been kidnapped by the federal government

Requiem for a Meme, or something

ICE is upset that ICE isn't welcome in restaurants after ICE ordered food at a restaurant, ate it, then arrested restaurant employees, and ICE believes this is someone else's fault, do I have that right?

Good. I don't give a shit if people think it's performative or late to the game or whatever. Every damn celebrity in the country should be using their platform to push back against fascism.

Did you hear the one about the guy who tried that new dating app Zippo? He couldn't find a match.

Bovino saying that naming Pretti's shooter would be "doxing" is a tactic to avoid accountability and to get people to swing into the dirt. Don't fall for it. We know it isn't doxing and we don't have to prove it. Focus on the cover-up and abuse of power underneath, not the propaganda on the surface.

Freedom is when I don’t have to pay taxes and people who exercise their constitutional rights are beaten, shoved into camps, and shot in the back or the face by masked agents of the state

Working on a new theory that McSweeney is a decades-long project by the Irish intelligence services to bring down their most ancient enemy without firing a shot

Hell is, in fact, too good for these people, but we must be generous.

Evergreen

Palantir was a warning sign.

Keir Starmer choosing to hand our data and security to US tech companies is an outrageous failure of judgment.

All in the name of "investment." What about national security?

Look I know this is going to be hard here but rigid adherence to lies about Covid is going to push you to the right. It has to. The eugenicist ideas that we can abandon the vulnerable and that vaccine mandates and lockdowns weren’t necessary because only “those people” died can never be democratic.

Change a movie's plot by changing a letter in the title. I'll start:

Cate Blanchett solves a murder using clues from Internet animations, in The Gif.

MOBY GOT DICK By Josephine Riesman I hate white whales and I cannot lie You other seamen can't deny When the beast swims by as a pale and eerie sight Spermacetti is your right You get sprung Wanna throw spears well Til you know that the whale's in Hell Oh, Moby I wanna stop goonin' And get harpoonin' My boatswain tried to stop this But that eye you got makes (Me so vicious!) Ooh, Devil’s own whale You say you wanna end my tale? Well, try me, try me Cuz I ain’t no average briney
 I’ve seen him blowin’ To hell with all knowin’ He swim, fin Got it goin’ like a turbo Schwinn I’m tired of novelists Sayin’ orcas are the best Take the average Ahab and ask him why I’ll tell ya I’m not shy So sailors (YEAH!) Sailors (YEAH!) Has your whale-foe got the white? (HELL YEAH!) Tell him to fluke it (FLUKE IT!) Fluke it (FLUKE IT!) Now throw that sharpened stick Moby got Dick

Please don't ask me why my brain works like this, because I don't have an answer