Embr

“Same as it ever was.”

- David Byrne’s Groundhog Day

roses are red,
violets are great;
around the survivors
a perimeter create

Embroidery helps, though

I can’t believe it’s already December and I haven’t done anything with my life for the past 8 years

I feel tired and confused, presidential even

over-pronouncing the ‘t’ in inertia

Elon’s torso being the prototype for the cyber truck really does explain why that truck is so fckn hideous.

the world may never again be as united as it was the year Gangnam Style came out

The energy of 2013 Twitter but everybody's back and knees hurt more.

#This

mugger: How much you got?

me: *looks in my purse and sees two Snickers bars* One Snickers bar.

a man in a suit with a bolo tie around his neck is holding a jacket ALT: a man in a suit with a bolo tie around his neck is holding a jacket

Trolls on twitter looking for someone to argue with.

Unsubscribes from perimenopause

‘Tis the season

What an achievement vaccines are. What a monument to our love for each other it is to stare straight into the face of something as horrific and unstoppable as smallpox or measles or polio or cervical cancer and say “You know what, it doesn’t have to be like this.”

HUMANS!

Starting tomorrow, X will permit the use of public tweets to train their AI.

If you’re concerned, our bulk delete feature can help reduce exposure. Even if you're don't intend to use the platform anymore, you can park your handle and delete old content.

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Don’t be the same dusty ass you were on Twitter. Post your hobbies, your passions, talk with each other, follow people back. There is no reason for someone with like 78k followers to be following a handful of people. Don’t act like you’re an elitist dipshit here. We are nice here, to each other.

Sorry I missed your call/text/email even though I have all notifications turned on, my phone is constantly in my hand and I’m always looking at it

Begun, the infowars have

mental health break? you bet it did

Had sushi on a conveyor belt last night. Interesting experience and got some Pikmin swag!

Ok, anyone know where the coffee machine is around here? 👀☕️

It’s so weird to be able to scroll and see posts I actually WANT to like.

Happy hump day, BlueSky.

The 4 Stages of Bluesky:
1. I am not going over there.
2. Okay, I will set up an account, but I am staying on Twitter.
3. Let’s see what is over there.
4. I am ready to delete Twitter.

There are so many middle schoolers in our neighborhood that catch the bus at the end of the block and they all stream out of their houses at the same time and mindlessly shamble up the street in the same direction like some sort of teenage zombie apocalypse. It's kind of terrifying.