Mike

I'm so annoyed with my job that I've considered just changing my phone number and running away.

Every choice I've made as an adult has apparently been the incorrect ones.

My manager doesn't even know where I am half the time anymore

Ugh my work wife transferred 3 weeks ago and I didn't even fucking know because I was on vacation. 😭

First term was like the Bluth family hiding their fraud and embezzlement and the current term is like the Bluth family promoting George Michael's FakeBlock scheme.

End of last year someone as an insult told me to go read a book... Since the beginning of this year I've completed 9. I realize in my 30s my biggest motivation is just to shut people up by defying their preconceptions

We are quite literally being governed by the exact personalities of Michael Scott, Dwight Shrute, and Andy Bernard. Let that sit for a moment.

Elon has quite a punchable looking face

Yesterday I was called "mustache" at work and I am now in the middle of an existential crisis

Lonely

Everyone keeps telling me that I should enjoy my 30s. I'm trying so hard but I am also so 🫥

What is the point of life if the government is a fucking joke?

I just spent an hour scrolling through emails and messages to look for one event ticket/date. If I show up to your things just know you're very special because my life is so disorganized that I could've forgotten altogether.

I want out of this timeline so bad.

Basically, all of Kash Patel's hearing was like this:

Dem Sen: You said on the "Tightest Whitie Podcast," quote, 'I'm going to use the FBI to hunt down Trump's enemies, period, full stop, it's as simple as that, no more, no less." Is that your intent?

Patel: That was taken out of context.

Exclusive: Musk aides lock government workers out of computer systems at US agency, sources say Aides to Elon Musk charged with running the U.S. government human resources agency have locked career civil servants out of computer systems that contain the personal data of millions of federal employees, according to two agency officials.

This is a hostile takeover of the federal government by a private citizen of unlimited means with no restrictions and no transparency. Welcome to the Deep State www.reuters.com/world/us/mus...

This face says “lord give me strength” 😂

Over on the other site Elon Musk said that DOGE stopped $50M of condoms from being delivered to Gaza which Trump the repeated several times but it turns out that was the number for all contraceptive support from USAID everywhere on Earth, of which none went to Palestinians.

i think it is important to say that the open and explicit racism of the president and the vice president isn’t just uncouth or “controversial” but a direct attack on tens of millions of americans and a dereliction of their duty to represent the entire country

Everytime I am "back" from vacation it takes me 4 hours to do anything with my computer or workspace because it all got bricked from not getting updates for 3 weeks. 🫥

Year 30 was absolutely a nightmare with 0 redeeming moments.

Since I don't have many irl people on here I think it's safe to say that I am once again spiralling.

Dawn needs to advertise that the dawn power wash spray does wonders for your bong. Just saying

Sometimes, I can't believe that I wake up early just to have my day ruined by some illiterate sewer rat with a hot take on the current political environment.

I actually haven't had a full shift since quitting tobacco and this is the first time I've taken a lunch in forever. I don't know what to do with my hands!

I just need a week where m*sk isn't in a headline. I am so tired of seeing that dork's face.

I officially have a mancave now and I get it. I feel so much happier.

Trying something new and cooking once thanksgiving dish a night leading up to the actual day since it's just us two this year.

I wish I was attractive enough to not have to interview for jobs 😞

If I knew my life would be this cursed I would have distributed the wealth with chain letters back in 2006.