imperfect cel

the only thing I hate more than myself is this stupid fucking world that makes me want to fall asleep and not wake up

I can almost feel myself start to struggle again
totally not coincidental that I was ill last time I was struggling

I hate my stupid fucking body
a) let me be amab b) don’t give me a terrible immune system

I hate it so much I just want to claw everything out

stressed (cocked something up) (currently hiding from it) (as usual) (fml)

mysterious third thing: not mdni on main because I’m too lazy to vet everyone but I fucking hate minors and would never willingly interact

I don’t know how people put up with me online when I was a minor. they probably felt the same way I do now 😭

de-admitted myself from a therapy waitlist whatever I’m employed now I don’t care so much about feeling useless anymore
just need to get huffed up on adhd medication and then perhaps my life will become way easier. cut this nuisance disorder out of myself like a parasite

🎯 exactly
don’t know what I am, cba to investigate, all I know is what I’m not honestly

I think I’m settled on the fact I’m very much not a woman but to be honest I don’t have the time or spoons to care. and thats fine. maybe in the next life. I’ll also get to work in intelligence or something. maladaptive daydreamer 101

now they have a fanfic they haven’t updated in a year and no active roleplay server

guess they’re not feeling so fucking smart anymore 😇. I suppose they can hardly “exclude” anyone if their tendency to be insufferably controlling makes everyone stay the hell away

I shouldn’t laugh I shouldn’t laugh. ok Im going to.

person I used to be in an oc server with used to give me so much grief for writing a lot of fanfic to go with my roleplaying. “why are you wasting your time on that stop excluding other people” bla bla bla

cut to present and

I do unfollow people who dont fb because I’m not interested in auditioning for someone’s friendship but it beats me why people unfollow and refollow people so much on here

prove I’m not useless or something. I absolutely hate performance reviews those terrify me

I have ADHD so I probably have RSD but man I don’t know I am always playfully jabbing at people, don’t give what I cant take, and wouldn’t describe myself as sensitive at all

I think mine is more when people are being critical of my performance in work or school. like I have to desperately

correct I am going to go back to whatever I was doing before because I am not american therefore I cannot do anything

anyway me and my old man are driving to visit people today
do love when its just me and pops we’re very similar people

what do you mean its already that tri-monthly time for everyone to log on and go “world war 3!” before going back to whatever they were doing before

looking at who my favourite characters are in each danganronpa thing

thh - taka
dr2 - nagito
v3 - miu

pjeg - ulysses
dt - ace
antebellum - takiko
another - haruhiko
another 2 - syobai
pink - nakamigawa
blue - shishikura
deception - chester

I dunno if being my fave means you’re cooked or not 😭

aaaAaaaaAaaaaAaAAAAAA MY HEART

no party seems to represent this so ig I’m just anti-reform tactical voter #483883 reporting for duty

I dont like how comfortable the uk left is with appeasing homophobic, sexist, and authoritarian views, and I do not like conservatism either for the same reasons as everyone else on fkn bluesky

I’m happy reform didnt win that by-election but man I’m even more happy that the government’s attempt to prosecute a guy for burning a religious book at a protest failed
no to blasphemy laws, yes to being able to challenge religion, yes to free speech

“your hair is fuzzy and brown” - peak comedy for some reason idk beats me. and I’m like. the final boss of comedy

pov you work in pharmacy

*I literally cannot move my thumb properly bc of the boxcutter slices and paper cuts 😭

amounts of money on dying and putting highlights in my hair

I wasn’t bullied much at school (too snarky and indifferent. you can probably imagine) but I got some trouble for having brown-ish hair and how my hair looked when I put it up for some reason. that made PE extra fun. girls are mean!

I’ve wanted much shorter hair for a while but this made me go through with it for my appointment next week bc oh man do you ever wanna steal someone’s scalp
I’d look so cool with a pathetic little loose ponytail and ribbon
also has my natural hair colour so I’ve also been inspired to not waste huge

victim switch… oh naw this sounds familiar 😭😭😭😭 please do it better than tetro if we’re going that way (already has given it’s not a ch3 twist that makes you forget the other murder even happened)

my back hurts and my soul a lil too but suffer no fools 🗣️

deception examination case 4 pending
either that’s actually chester in the bear suit and kuma’s impersonating him or he’s the culprit pookie is so cooked

girls can do or be literally anything but with guys I’m very picky idk

if I’m asked why I’ve never dated a guy shorter than me (I’m about 5’8”) I’m showing them chester and milo wheeze
I need a guy who clips slightly offscreen compared to me its intriguing

just remembered in a discord server I was in someone turned their nose up about a ship between a 19 y/o and a 22 y/o between two consenting ocs/oc admins

I wonder how they’re doing now 😭
or if they’d freak the fuck out about my parents having a 10 year age gap wheeze

/deception examination spoilers

omg thats gay people in my fangan

I am a misanthropic shit who wants humanity to burn in hellfire but man the people at my new job are nice to me
my eyes sparkle with occasionally human kindness but it does not outweigh the other pieces of fecal matter I endure/have had to endure

I don’t prefer either way honestly since it doesn’t affect me I just think it’s interesting
how exactly the kind of people who would brigade against someone for shipping even with a tiny age gap have now done a complete 180
the power of external influences or something