Spinal Tap Quotes

NIGEL: ..take them off...
MARTY: ...and you’d see..exact...
NIGEL: This is what you’d see...

Buildings reaching to the sky
Afro-sheen and apple pie
PTA and FBI

And yet I would gladly die screaming, in insufferable
Agony, if it meant I could spend my last few moments
Gazing in her eyes

DAVID: Just bear with us for one moment please. This...I love this. I wish I were... Cancer the crab.
NIGEL: Oh, that’s attractive.

Springtime, enough's enough
Tired of flowers and all that stuff
Want some drizzle, want some sleet
Want some wellies on my feet

DEREK: No it’s not an exit. Not an exit.

I see you dancing there in front of the band
You're playin' the solos with no guitar in your hand

DAVID: Oh, we’ve got a bigger dressing room than the puppets? Oh, that’s refreshing..

IAN: Hey! Hey! Listen to me: We want these suites, and we want them now! OK? These people are tired. We have
soundcheck in an hour.
SMITTY: Yes, sir. We can’t help you out—Reba—perhaps you can help here.

You need training
Gonna bring you to heel
I'm gonna break you with my will of steel

BOBBI: Yes, Bobbi Flekman - the hostess with the mostest. You know, you know. Hi, handsome. How you doing?
Alright, listen I want you all to meet Sir Denis Eton-Hogg, now he’s the head of Polymer.
BAND: We know, we know.

The scourge of London Town
(The scourge of London Town)
There'll be no rest 'til
You are a guest of The Crown

ASO: Raise your arms....do you have any artificial plates or limbs?
DEREK: Not really, no....

Out of the emptiness
(Salvation) Salvation
Rhythm and light and sound

IAN: No I don’t, this is 1982, Bobbi, come on.

ARTIE: Polymer Records, how are you, hey, how ya doin’ you are ....Derek?
DEREK: Derek, Yeah.

Gimme some money, gimme some money
Gimme some money, gimme some money

PROMOTER: Smell the Glove?
EXTRA: It’s a provocative title.
DAVID: Wait till you see the cover, wait till you see the cover, very provcative indeed.

IAN: Alright, she’s not your girlfriend. I don’t know...

<garden interview III>
MARTY: In 1967, uh, you... that was the first time Spinal Tap came into existence?
DEREK: Well, the whole world was changing in those days.
DAVID: And, and we also had the world’s ear.
DEREK: We were changing the world.

MARTY: Do you have a philosohpy, or creed that you live by?
MICK: Well...like, personally, I like to think about sex and drugs and rock’n’roll, you know, that’s my life...
MARTY: Yeah.
DAVID: yeah...

DAVID: Wait, this looks familiar, though...it really does.

—- Spinal Tap performs Tonight I’m Going to Rock You Tonight—
DAVID: Nigel Tufnel, Lead guitar!
<Spinal Tap tours Japan>

MARTY: Regarding ‘Intravenus de Milo’: “This tasteless cover is a good
indication of the lack of musical invention within. The musical growth rate of this band cannot even be
charted. They're treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry.”
NIGEL: That’s, that’s nit-picking, isn’t it?

—- Spinal Tap performs Sex Farm —-

BOBBI: That’s right it’s 1982! Get out of the 60’s. We don’t have this mentality any more.

What then? Are we born again?
Just to sit asking questions like these?

like, maybe in a haberdasher, or maybe like a...uh a chapeau shop, or something...you know

DAVID: It’s an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he’s not a very well known saint.

IAN: When we get the actual, uh, set, when we get the piece, it’ll...it’ll follow exactly these specifications. I mean
even these contours and everything?
ARTIST: Um, I’m not understanding it. What do you mean “the actual piece?”