John Dantzler

Just realized Bezos now has to bribe Melania another $80M for Melania At Vor. Maybe a less ethically compromised director, Diddy, say.

God was 14 billion years old when he fathered Jesus, so not quite as old as De Niro.

That boy needs to sit down, shut up, and not speak again until he learns something. Anything.

Kind of like the sound of Ayatollah Eric Trump. If you’re going for a lightweight son of a mad dictator, go for the lightest. And Lara can sing the new Iranian national anthem. Of course the hijab might make her hard to hear, more’s the pity.

Because they’re morons.

Rather than Millie Bobby Brown, Trump should be Eleven since he’s all 7 deadly sins and all 4 horsemen of the apocalypse.

I like a nice humidifier but I would prefer a mystifier instead.

I’m not balding; my cranium is just trying to escape.

Has Trump won the war? Has anyone forgotten the Epstein files yet?

Let’s crowdsource Bob Woodward’s next book and beat him to publication. The title writes itself: The Grifter At War.

Fuckin’ A!

Now that Liz Truss killed the Queen (head of C of E), JD Fakename killed the Pope and Netanyahu killed the Ayatollah, we’ve got somebody guarding the Dalai Lama, right?

So how is Operation Epstein Bury working out? Have you forgotten yet?

They went with Operation Epic Fury? I guess Epstein Bury would have been too obvious.

Just have to spell bored correctly

What does David Dennison think?

That’s silly; that’s the best way NOT to get arrested by the FBI.

Men’s toiletries are great! You only have to buy one thing. It’s shampoo! It’s conditioner! It’s body wash! It’s motor oil! It’s a boner pill! It’s duct tape! It does it all! EXCEPT: we shall not be moisturized!

They say to be the change you want to see in the world so I made myself up like a tangelo snd sprawled bonelessly on a golf course.

Local white supremacist refuses to recant views. Also asserts that, Cats rule, dogs drool.”

While Bobby Jr has been gutting the CDC and telling funny stories about snorting coke off toilets, my PHP reports that why I passed 2 covid tests in spite of a savage cough and a 101.5 temperature is that covid and the flu had a baby which trips neither test. Wheeee!

Not to break my arm patting myself on the back about what an astute political analyst I am but I sorta had a feeling that MallCop-ocracy might not turn out all too well.

In order to quit sullying his martyred father’s name, can we just call the Health and Human Services secretary Robert Mountbatten-Windsor?

I would have preferred to go viral by saying something really clever rather than by catching a virus.

I liked Robocop better when it was fictitious.

While that’s true, this is fake. Please take down or label correctly.

Tell me there was no golden parachute.

Believable up until the last sentence

… accidentally arrest themselves

Mike Johnson: “I haven’t seen that.”