keb mode: pearl mode

that and the shirt from lock and load bar in baghdad were probably my best thrift shirt finds

I used to hoop in an organic carrot kibbutz tank top

Aim low,
Cheef mary wet

lmfao I only just got this fully, wow

music hitting different for no discernable reason rn. might just be that the sky looks cool

well I'm already the keb of burgers diva. but fair

my summer goal is to smoke one in a pool. aim low folks

I'm the jack kerouac of burgers

they should peten both petes. called it petened petes

quitting my job to go on a burger tour of the heartlands

hell world. btw

cops showed up right as I finished submitting via the 311 portal fortunately, though I didn't stick around to see what happened after that

fuck you to whoever hit it and left it there too, right on flat shoals

had to call non-emergency line for a deer and found out of course that atlanta's 311 system has an automated feature that takes your response and tells you to call 311. what a fucking travesty

what a little ball of fuzz!

alright I think that's all my oven material

when the instructions say to set the oven to 350 I set it to 365 because I do this shit every day. fuck a leap year

depends on how small you shrink em. but certainly too many

if you take stuff out of the oven bare handed super fast you won't even burn yourself really

tired of being the universe experiencing this little corner of itself. I don't mean it so darkly though. just bored and tired

she will have me scratch it until there's no fur, only skin. and then she will have me scratch it more

I taught her that in like two tries. big mistake

pearl the medium gray dog with her head wedged between couch cushions in a baby pose motioning downward with her paw to ask for chest scratches, surrounded by but not covered in blankies

at least I came down to this one doing the one handed walk like an egyptian move to indicate she wants chest scratches

I kind of did. each man took a different seduction technique and I lost myself in the roles

would have saved me so much grief this year and now I'm right back in it with a nastier attitude

ugh I think the job I got pretty far on interviews with already had a guy and they just brought me in in case he didn't work out. all positive feedback but I assume the other guy is working through his offer. ah well

@MarkusJ's "Email to My Girlfriend's Husband" | Know Your Meme @MarkusJ’s “Email to My Girlfriend’s Husband” refers to a tweet posted by Twitter user @MarkusJ that included a screenshot of an email he sent to his girlf

I'm not sure this counts but if it does this one might actually be mine

you are indeed both right and that is coincidentally also my vote

WAFFLES, folks

huey lewis voice I want a new job