Tweet from ‘Gregory Mammal-Friend’ (@cat_beltane): “america is good at blasting off its own dick with a shotgun and as a yank i am utterly fascinated by britain's ability to carefully place its dick in a drawer and slowly but firmly push it closed for two years straight” 11/03/2019, 00:21
Well, er… happy seventh anniversary to this tweet, I suppose
If you sell something that’s worn out, say “worn out”
If you say “well loved,” whatever it is, I’ll assume you fucked it.
In 1938, the German Reich invalidated all German Jewish passports.
They must surrender them, after which their ID will mark them as a Jew.
In 2026, the state of Kansas invalidated all correct trans drivers licenses.
They must surrender them, after which their ID will mark them as trans.
Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.
"Can I get a name for the cup"
"Oh, er, I dunno, Cuppy? Nah, I bet everyone says that... Cupid? Cupface McCupperson?"
"No, I mean what's your name?"
"Oh don't name it after me, that'll make it weird to drink out of."
Most accurate portrait of modern culture currently available
The little back paw waving hello from the other side 😊
"Have you checked the archive?"
- Noah looking for the bees
It just occurred to me--it is statistically probable that at least one person reading this has never seen Donald O'Connor stake his claim to GOAT status in SINGIN' IN THE RAIN. I must remedy that immediately:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGCN...
"If he likes me squeezing his nipples during sex do you think suggesting he gets them pierced would intensify that or make them too sensitive?"
"No, I meant questions about the job."
I'm forever losing keyboards, mice and games controllers. I think there's something wrong with my peripheral vision.
@thatpeteraustin.bsky.social A near miss
I'm on of those awful, "grasping for our youth" xenials, but I reckon "cute" there is a fluffy think but looking desperate so being desperate means submissive and oh, I hate my own logic now and hope I'm wrong.
A tiny snoozy pup!
Oh mum, to be a boy who loves pink, loves gingham and so cutesy a bunny suit, this is fun as hell x
"How do you take your coffee?"
"Orally."
Hi Evelyn,
Its Flavour and Consistency Make It Abundantly Clear It's Not Butter™
Wait - the corner of Olympic and Cloverfield, Santa Monica? Ladies and Gentlemen, that is almost exactly the location where the old Buffy offices stood. I believe we may owe thanks for this one to the Hellmouth.
Photo of Dexter Sol Ansell, a young actor of maybe 10 years, dressed as his character, Egg. Costume consists of a set of grey robes and a shaved head. He is holding a copy of The Hedge Knight by George RR Martin
Photo of Dexter Sol Ansell, a young actor of maybe 10 years, dressed as his character, Egg. Costume consists of a set of grey robes and a shaved head. He is holding his school bag and smiling.
If you need a timeline cleanse you should know that Dexter Sol Ansell who plays Egg on A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms went to school as Egg for World Book Day.
Lord Nelson was 5ft 6in. His statue is 17ft 4in.
That’s Horatio of 3:1.
If you're a vegan it is okay to eat a comet but not so much an asteroid because they're a little meteor
A pal wrote a super cosy despair anthem I'd love you all to listen to. Soft acoustic that'll make you want to die? I like that vibe www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpZn...
I don't understand what the "But" is doing in this message.
Far, far too late.
Did they ever work out whether Phoebe was a wall or a bridge in the end?
Top tier snuffs asmr
Are they de-paving paradise after pulling down a parking lot?
