The odds of winning the last presidential election with all 7 battleground states and less 50% of the popular vote were 33 billion to 1 oops sorry that’s math.
25.05.2025 00:12
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The odds of winning the last presidential election with all 7 battleground states and less 50% of the popular vote were 33 billion to 1 oops sorry that’s math.
In church saying yeehaw instead of amen
of course I turn on the seat warmer for the pizza, I’m not a monster
I'm starting to think this two-party political system is set up for really big things, am I right, gang?
[calmly trying to describe the situation] the crapping was coming from inside the pants
Do I have a lot to do today? Yes. Am I in a rush to do any of it? Heck no. The world is fucked, none of this matters even a little. Eat a pizza. Fuck a ham. Tell them you love them. Get some joy wherever you can.
The chances of winning all 7 swings states with less than 50% of the popular vote was 33 billion to one.
I’ve never tried sarcasm, how does it work
Stock goes down, billies get their tax cuts, buy back their own stock, stock goes up. 2+2=math
In case you're thinking of moving to an area near Canada, I've got you covered:
upnorthmichiganrealestate.com
ALIEN: These billionaires must have done some incredible things to have amassed that much money
ME: Not really
ALIEN: Surely they cured diseases or invented things to changed your world
ME: Um, one guy made a website so he could stalk potential girlfriends
ALIEN: Listen, we're just gonna go
The rationale for choosing to fight 5 horse-sized ducks or 50 duck-sized horses should really be discussed in an open forum.
Large display of chocolate-covered mini donuts with a “COMMIT TO BE FIT” poster attached to the side.
bought ten cuz i wanna get effin jacked
[First day working in an optometrists]
Me: They’re called reading glasses but they don’t actually read. You still have to do that.
Optometrist: Can I see you in my office?
Me: *nudges customer* I would hope so lol
i once brought a guns and roses to a foo fight
Be kind to each other. No matter how they present themselves, you never know what's going on inside another person. This morning I took a shit the size of my forearm.
All those grundies in grade school and look what it got me, the nerds are breaking into the puters and giving the billies the house.
umami: mushrooms
udaddi: older guy w disposable income
uchild: things are gonna get easier
Boxed Loki action figure with one eye drastically lower than the other.
STROKI
large yellow dog in a sombrero
"If the landlord asks, you're a Chihuahua."
The odds of winning all 7 BG states with less than 50% of the popular vote were 35 billion to one.
Boom, roasted.
Spent last night writing "I don't get it" under every single Facebook post
What ever happened to “fake news”? Is it all real now?
I'm sorry your baby is crying right now. Have you tried taking it farther away from me?
My rods and cones have decided YOUR HEADLIGHTS ARE TOO EFFING BRIGHT!
I don’t think “causing temporary blindness”is quite the safety flex you think it is.
Must be all that stiff competition
