Jon Bean Hastings

The word "borscht" can be used to replace both the word "best" and the word "worst". "It was the borscht of times, it was the borscht of times."

I find people who listen to house music to be unct-unct-unct-unct-unctuous.

Saw it on VHS back in the 80's and still remember the tagline to this day: "Take the Stairs, Take the Stairs. For God's Sake, Take the Stairs!!!"

Chinese New Year +
Mardi Gras =
Gung Hay Fat Tuesday!

My celebrity fragrance: "Smellegance by Bean".

Ichor
You-chor
We all scream
From the madness of Cthulhu

December seems to be the "sometime" in "sometime food".

The enema of my enemy is my friend.

Some new Krampus cards I scribbled up...

Our hall stand gets decked out, depending on the holiday. Currently, it's Krampus themed, with horns, chained "arms" and a naughty child in its basket.

When you "high five" someone, it's actually a high ten, but y'all ain't ready to hear that.

Time to do a bunch of cocaine in celebration!

See, 'cause Francis Lawrence directed "The Long Walk" that came out a month or two ago and now Edgar Wright's "The Running Man" is out and both are based on Stephen King books!
Yes, I know it's dumb, thanks.

Francis Lawrence "The Long Walk"-ed so Edgar Wright could "The Running Man".

I'm going to start doing Pontius Pilates and wash my hands of exercise.

I wish you a happy, formal Samuelhain.

28 years ago today, the two goofball in the middle got married...

The pleasure is mine to bring you the Xexy,
and brighten your day with some disco sexy!

As you'll find they make great pets (with nary a trip to the vets).

#9: Deadstream

YouTube idiot-man spends the night in a house made of Evil Dead movies.

It takes real balls to try to emulate the Evil Dead films, but this one does it brilliantly.

I memed...

Movie #8: Final Destination: Bloodlines

Slightly better than the rest. Some actual character development and dialog that felt more natural.

The highlight: Tony Todd explained why the hell his character was always so nonchalant about all the Death doings and he got to say farewell to his fans.

Saw it. I agree, a wild ride but slightly lacking (mainly in the middle).

The Vexing Menageries are here! The Vexing Menageries are here!

Movie #7: “Final Destination 5”

Stupid blah stupid bridge blah blah blah.

Five fuckin’ movies in and I haven’t cared about one single character. They’re all so willfully bland (or I instantly hate them and want them to die).

6: Final Destination 4

Stupid Death at Stupid NASCAR.

Here's how absolutely interchangeable all the characters are; the titles are X-ray skeleton versions of previous character deaths in the first three movies. Not the characters themselves, their skeletons.

#5: Final Destination 3

Stupid Death on a roller coaster.

You know what you’re never going to see? A “Final Destination” costume at Spirit Halloween. It’s a serial killer movie too lazy to give you an actual serial killer. Whatta gonna go as, wind? A growling downed powerline? A puddle? A log?

I've probably told you this but I was at my publisher's booth at one con when someone came up as I was busy sketching and asked me who he would talk to about his nephew doing comics. I looked up to see Cadaver. Turned out it to be Michael Berryman. He was nothing but nice but still...

The Vexing Menagerie: an ABC Book of Preposterous Poems A 100th birthday tribute to Edward Gorey presenting 26 amusing animals ideally inhabiting the pictured pages of this bizarre book.

Last chance to jump on board... late pledges end today!

#4: Final Destination 2

Stupid Death is still a stupid dick, now with even more stupid.

Why did I care even less about these walking clichés? (Oh, because none of them were given the courtesy of having any character development. They’re just pre-corpses who have yet to be rent asunder.)