Tex Ramone

“would be”

So when you get the $1500, is it a check or do they just Venmo it to you?

This is one of those sentences that starts great and gets more awesome with every word

This is the reward you get for bending the knee. Every single time

youtu.be/EsvfptdFXf4?...

Nobody wants this

Phil Collins stands in the forest clearing, one hand on his sword, eyes closed, deep in thought. He can feel the presence of his oldest, most dangerous enemy.

David Lee Roth appears in the clearing. Phil says “I see you’ve returned to face me.”

David replies, “Bozay-de-bozay-de-bop. Diddly bop.”

WOLVERINE: [unsheathing claws] watch it, bub, I'm the best there is at what I do
SAMURAI PHIL COLLINS: oh yeah? [chops him up to the exact cadence of the In The Air Tonight drum fill]

Toejam & Earl from Sega Genesis! Those gloopy baselines

Minecraft lookin ass dog

yes yes we've all seen the proposals to dig a canal around the strait, to transport the barrels by land, to turn invisible and sneak through. but have you considered: Cargo Zeppelins

If you can’t handle me at my Police Truck, then you don’t deserve me at my California Uber Alles

Some of you are out here Holiday In Cambodia gooning when you should be Nazi Punks Fuck Off maxxing, and it shows

A woman in a mask Headline: Why Do Some People Still Wear Masks In 2026 And On A Completely Unrelated Note Why Is Everyone In The Office Sick Right Now Apart From The Guy In The Mask? Story from Jerk Wingley and Terramin Defishunsee Photo from Adobe

Why Do Some People Still Wear Masks In 2026 And On A Completely Unrelated Note Why Is Everyone In The Office Sick Right Now Apart From The Guy In The Mask?

Mussolini his ass

*astronaut with gun meme*

“You mean this new technology is just slavery?”

“Always has been”

You cannot convince me that Kash Patel does not sleep in a bed that is shaped like a race car

the worst part is we actually made good progress on a lot of the right lessons (given congressional resource constraints) and then it all got blown to hell by the worst people you know

I used to be a financial advisor for school systems and had to walk around college campuses all day. In a full suit and tie. In Texas. And I’m fat as shit. I still didn’t sweat this much

The immune system is not a muscle.

It is a cleansing fire.

It causes collateral damage.

It has a limited supply of fuel.

It can get out of control.

Don’t burn your whole house down every time by catching every disease without caution.

I’m also a big metal head but that said, this album is a masterpiece

if phantom menace had included a sleazy politician called marco rubio, we'd all have been like "yeah, that sounds like a typical star wars name"

the most thoroughly vindicated man in hollywood.

trade disputes and conspiracies ✔️

republic subverted over sex hangups ✔️

“sand people” killed, royalty indifferent ✔️

naive idiot casts vote for tyranny ✔️

villains with silly names like “dooku” ✔️

powerful clerical order screwing up ✔️

list goes on

Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now

Why are they like this. Why are they all like this

“hey bartender, you got anything that will make me shit not just my pants, but also make me shit all the way up the back of my shirt?”

“I’ve got just the thing”

when you just can’t shit your pants fast enough, Buffalo Wild Wings has got you covered

forthwith

This shit pisses me off because people who live in poverty know everything about navigating the real world. Because you have to; one wrong move will result in a parking ticket or a hospital bill that will financially devastate you for months or even years

yeah I’m sure SHE’S the one not experienced at navigating the real world

also this definitely happened and he definitely didn’t just make up a person to be mad about