Watched: Dracula (should be: Dreckula): a love tale. It has a colon in the title, which is all you need to know.

Having said that, if the Muppets made a musical version I'd watch the shit out of it.

So the claim is, there's no such thing as "a fate worse than death?"

I think the running joke is that saying "allegedly" is like having your hand on a church door :-)

He lost to Maxwell, made a fairly famous pun about a fat cheque afterwards.

It's a party of strangers.

It's the Bristolian accent. They're saying "ya".

One of the things most striking about Mick Lynch is that he knows what he believes and articulates it well. Listening to him talk feels noticeably less stressful than listening to someone repeating what they're pretending to believe.

Went to a wedding in Moscow; a fellow guest was the winner of "the Apprentice". They had their passport nicked on the underground.

Your religion is reifying its eschatology. Just use a search engine.

Do you gain courage by selling stock?

It stuck to the roof of my mouth and triggered my gag reflex for the best part of an hour. Either local nerve damage or caused a minor stroke, dunno. It's always been like that.

Paralysed half my tongue with a marmite sandwich.

"Hysterical" as opposed to "legitimate", which is the alternative adjective du jour.

> someone in the Facebook comments

There's your problem.

All I know about the death of Robin Hood was that they buried him on top of the wardrobe.

Seconded. It's really rather good.

At least I assume it is; it could be feeding me total bullshit and I'm not sure how I'd tell, apart from experiments where I yell "squawk! I'm am emu!" at it and see if it gets it right.

I shouldn't give it away, but when the men gather around fires to tell the tales that women must not hear us speak, this is one of them.

Flowers! In vases!

We just got lino and pools of stale urine.

It was my first experience of the ladies' toilets as she came around. I have to say it was dead swanky in comparison. Carpeted*, a dressing-room mirror with padded stools and didn't stink of boys. 10/10, would recommend.

(* Which was the fashion at the time - this was about 1870.)

Torbay's goth scene was divided between dead jealous and decrying me as a poseur.

I got to carry her comatose form out like a short Christopher Lee just as Louis awoke to darkness.

That's a fab film. I remember watching (the first 10 minutes off) it in the cinema in Torquay. The entire local goth crowd had turned out for it. I was the only one there with a date who hadn't thought to mention that she fainted at the sight of blood.

He did what?!

Does it not? I tend to stay in roughly the same place when I'm travelling into the future.

Do they move diagonally?

Rooks make an enormous racket. If you can hear yourself think, they're probably crows.

(Also not born in 0AD because there wasn't one. AD goes back far enough that it's indexed like FORTRAN arrays.)

It would be more colourful, but thanks to Hollywood prudishness and erasure, Rosy and Dawn are just best friends who happen to share a flat.

Ibepodes

Howes Percival?