"The only thing prohibiting the hostages from coming home is the Iranian soldiers guarding them in our embassy. The are free to come home should Iran not do that."

You could do better by simply not showing up to work.

Oh, is he planning on killing them with an air strike?

I was so sure this was an Onion article.

So, “Xbox mode” for Windows was real.

I’m detecting a common theme, here.

Snyder actually called it “unemployed, maidenless behavior”, which is even better, really.

Not gonna lie, I absolutely wheezed reading that headline.

All of that sounds good with a drinkable cheeseburger.

You’re in for a treat! I highly recommended mapping jump to L1 and dash to R1, you need your fingers on those actions at all times.

Dementia will do that.

Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Kristi Noem.

Gooood shit.

Kristi Noem taking time off work to spend time with her puppy.

Someone just showed him some midterm polling numbers.

Donald, the votes have already been cast, it’s a little late for your endorsement now.

Someone actually did tell you not to use it, Donny. You just said that, practically in the same breath.

I couldn’t find the pun in there, ghoul.

Concepts of a plan of a threat from Iran.

Starting wars is as casual as writing an email for this administration, no need to wait until you get to the office to do it.

The executive branch, does not, in fact, have “the legal authority to do this”.

So, he’s hallucinating now.

But, should you feel good about being constantly proven right? Yes.

You “got that feeling”, huh? The $175 billion that the American people paid over the last year? It’s just gone, is that right?

I see the Duke art department has managed to uninvent perspective.

It is a witch hunt for actual witches that raped children.

need to make everyone in San Francisco watch this video every morning and every night

It’s a perfectly cromulent word.

That’s a winner.

She’s right and you probably should have kept that little anecdote to yourself, Jesse.