“I enjoyed the book but the clerk at the store said “No problem” instead “You’re welcome” when they sold it to me. 1/2 star.”

I mean for the billionaires, they’ll just make their fortunes back with hard work and bootstraps right? That’s how the meritocracy they keep talking about works right? Taking away all their money should just be like an enrichment activity for them, give them a challenge to keep their minds active.

I knew that no matter how long it took, we had already lost the war when Bush told us that the best way for us to fight was to buy stuff. We’re not citizens to them, just “consumers” whose only purpose is to work for them and buy product until we die.

And somehow it will turn out that members of his inner circle have controlling interest in a private minesweeping company that didn’t exist 3 weeks ago and got the no-bid 100B contract for the job. No mines will be swept and a dozen ships will blow up but nobody will do anything about it.

30+ years ago I read an essay by Issac Asimov about overpopulation in which he said that the solution was to educate women and give them opportunities beyond childbearing. Turns out he was spot on and now we have men trying to reverse those gains because they’re freaking out about low birth rates.

As a cis man my opinion has long been “It turns out that when you give women education and opportunities, they choose not to be brood mares, so we’d better figure out how to reorder our society around the fact that we’re going to continue to see decreasing birth rates.”

He’s great at bowel movements! Nobody is better at bowel movements than him! Big strong men with tears streaming down their faces are… hang on… I’m being told that the tears are apparently because of the incredible stench. Oof.

I work at a library and nothing will radicalize you like helping a 70 year old woman fill out job applications for her 73 year old husband because she’s already working and he needs to get a job too in order to survive the current economy.

In case anyone is wondering what’s going on here, the guy is 80 years old and still trying to practice medicine. One of the most intellectually challenging occupations in the world is maybe not the best thing for an octogenarian to be doing.

Only one way to find out. But for scientific accuracy we should do it to every tech oligarch and take extensive notes on the results.

Before the redesign none of these people cared about it or could have pointed out the old flag among a bunch of other flags, now suddenly it’s the most important symbol in the world solely because it’s not the new “woke”flag. Gotta keep the culture wars going because it’s the only thing they have.

The only question that matters here is of course “Who’s getting paid?” In other words which of trump’s allies has an LLC that will completely out of the blue show up as the only company that can provide the guardianship services that are suddenly needed.

The cast of SNL are arguably better law enforcement officers than any of the ones depicted in the multiple shows that are higher in the ratings.

The WWE will leave no suspect un-piledrivered in its efforts to find her.

Oh come on, they’re not doing it only for the money. They’re also doing it for practice so they’ll be better prepared when they’re hired to do the same thing to the rest of us.

“Are you sure about that? I mean you are very very stupid.”

Jesus Christ that’s a lot of calls. I work for HCL and haven’t heard a single word about that, they don’t tell us anything about stuff happening at other branches. That’s a nice little branch too.

My mom talked about being quarantined from the other kids during the summer due to polio. Small town, parents didn’t want to talk about it, she said they literally found out who had died by coming into class the first day of school and seeing the empty seats where classmates should be sitting.

Felony murder is an insane law. You loan someone your car, they commit crimes that end up with a death, and you get charged with murder despite being asleep in bed when it occurred. But somehow the CEO of a health insurance company isn’t responsible for deaths as a result of his policies.

Yeah that’s got to be AI. It looks like an editor woke up and changed it but it never should have been published in the first place.

“When the coach had passed they donned their hats again and moved on. The dogs stood tail to tail. Two other dogs sat a little apart, squatting loosely in their skins, just frames of dogs in napless hides watching the coupled dogs and then watching the prisoners clanking away up the street. All lightly shimmering in the heat, these lifeforms, like wonders much reduced. Rough likenesses thrown up at hearsay after the things themselves had faded in men's minds.” Excerpt From Blood Meridian Cormac McCarthy

McCarthy is the guy who made me stop and think “did he just write a passage that boils down to “the prisoners walked out of town while behind them a couple of dogs fucked.” and make it poetic and lyrical?”

Whenever people frame taxing billionaires as “using their money to pay for stuff” we need to reframe it as “preventing them from having unlimited influence on politics” because that’s the reality of what needs to happen. Tax them into oblivion because the alternative is a return to feudalism.

To be fair if my mother in law was living in an ADU I’d still have a weirdo in my backyard, but we have two weirdos living in the front currently (my wife and I) so it would probably balance out.

He also used a water pipe to run the wiring out there and put in a cement patio after burying it, so that would be a whole thing if we wanted to bring it up to code as well. Definitely a DIWhy kinda guy.

We don’t have power in our garage because the previous owner didn’t pull a permit when he ran it out there, and then he finished the basement so we can’t trace the wiring. We’d have to rip a wall down to verify the wiring is up to code and it’s not worth bothering.

I was constantly saying “Stop trying to work with these people! They hate you and are trying to destroy your presidency!” But he kept trying to be the bigger man and just didn’t have it in him to go for the jugular. (I’m sure being the first black man in the position played into his decisions)

It’s just another version of “Pay me millions because I’m overseeing everything and the buck stops here.”

Something criminal happens with the company “I didn’t know anything about that.”

You People Made Me Give Up My Peanut Farm Before I Got To Be President For generations, U.S. presidents have gone to great lengths to avoid potential conflicts of interest. When I was elected, I followed suit by placing my small business in a blind trust to assure our ci...

theonion.com/you-people-m...

I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when Ma finally put her foot down and made him stop moving so the girls could get school and socialize with other kids. I’m sure that conversation was more exciting than it was portrayed in the book.

favorite bit from an old tv show Seaquest DSV was when the sub was struck by lightning during a rescue mission and the crew had to reset or replace every breaker on the sub, a long repetitive exhausting task, so the second in command naturally starts a shanty. Just “drunken sailor” but still.