overall, i think things have been getting better, though. not a lot to show, but what i've been doing has been really fun. it's also nice to just have some burner accounts that are totally separate from everything so i can have accounts besides content creation. πͺ
Like, I may be unlikable but Iβm never outright creepy enough that people say they want to leave chats over what Iβve had to say π at some point grief just turns into secondhand embarrassment
Itβs awkward because people still tell me through the grapevine that my ex friends are creeping others out in other chats, because it didnβt give any real vindication? Just sadness that theyβre doing that. Therapist says itβs a good sign for me but idk.
Anniversary of g* eventually pushing me to a suicide attempt is coming up which is bringing a lot of feelings but therapy has been getting better and better and I can enjoy a lot of what I havenβt been able to for the past year. Usually. LMAOOOI
JJK is such a fun read I love Hakari
i want to draw some cute wolchans (any gender) (i'm still working on coms too) #ffxiv
left the house for the first time in weeks, the meds are working, please clap
going to reply to the cardigan + plushie emails soon, sorry about that!! i've gotten good news from the psychiatrist so i'm slowly getting peeled off the floor again
ACC: Heavyweight Tier
no spoilers but pathologic 3 is so good lmfao
naw he's legit a great guy it's just a fact the symptoms have been going on THIS long and in THIS certain way he's like "hold up"
me rn it turns out they have Figured out the Vitamin too little too late
not the doc hitting me with the "yeah ngl i no longer think you have [x] i VERY strongly believe you have [y]" after six months of trying to make these meds work, only to find out they commonly contribute to the type of symptoms i've been having π§
hcing the xtremes as shards for adelphel and janlenoux or grinnaux and paulecrain bc both have the potential to be super funny in diff ways
the arcadion questline is soooo cute i love the tyrant but also everyone AND one of my fav VA's voiced honey b
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playing p3r with one friend group and p5r with another friend group, both for the first time, and man both are awesome, games really are better with friends
got an iud put in today to hopefully help with my mental/hormonal and oh my god i'm mentally projecting all my cramps onto adelphel
excited for the savage drop for tomorrow... i personally don't do it but i enjoy cheering on friends π₯°
my friend's custom standees arrived. excited to open up more slots in the future #TOWART #γ»γγΎγ‘γγγγγΌ #γγͺγγΌγ¨ #bijouwled #illustrayBAE #inART
like... all my crashouts on social media are self-harm, because i do still miss my friends and then i self-sabotage to make sure i push them even further. i still think they're a terrible things to do and unacceptable, same with honestly a lot of my behavior this year, trauma or not. bad impulse.
like... i don't threaten SI to manipulate others, it's my mind going "you've messed up so bad there's no hope for you" + a literal non-stop monologue in my head telling me to do it, sort of like when you remind yourself to brush your teeth before bed but for six hours straight
found out through Extremely casual reading that it's relatively common to have bad impulse controls with undiagnosed adhd, especially as it pertains to SI compulsion but also i've def gotten worse in gen this year, so i'm hoping the docs agree when i meet up with them
yahoo!!!
wait this is just gold ship
waaaa happy early new year!!!!! after some last minute developments i'm excited for the new year
it def hits different after this year ngl
doing my annual read of octopus pie and oof ow marigold oof ow eve oof ow hanna
manifest better meds for me when i have my appointment with the psychiatrist in jan bc this anxiety ruining my life, if the whole account deletion meltdown didn't make it obvious enough
