Two animated beavers, one wearing a crown
2026 watch #39: Hoppers. Wish I could enjoy my cute lil’ talking animals movie without being driven mad by the bullshit centrism of a young environmentalist apologizing to the Gavin Newsom-esque industrialist for taking activism too far, but these are the times we’re living in. Long live King George
Morally and creatively bankrupt and all for nothing, because it also looks and sounds like shit! Too bad everyone involved is incapable of shame!
Jessie Buckley in Hamnet
2026 watch #38: Hamnet. I put off watching this as long as I could because I'm the only person I know who hates the book. The film magnified the story's every fault, chiefly its treatment of Shakespeare's work in service of grief porn. This bitch married Shakespeare and doesn't know how plays work.
Peter Pan goes so hard and is rarely adapted right, but of course you can trust Tim Curry to nail it
I need advice: It's time to buy new cookware (I've had the same beat-up nonstick pans that are no longer nonstick since I moved into my first apartment, it's real bad). I have complete decision paralysis. Which pots/pans do you love? Will switching to stainless steel fix or ruin my life?
THE upside down spider-man kiss, you know the one
2026 watch #37: Spider-Man (2002). Hadn't seen this in the better part of two decades and was curious how it held up. Hey, remember when superhero movies were fun?? Jokes! Bright colors! Camera angles! Willem Dafoe hamming it up! A romantic interest with stakes! The greatest kiss you've ever seen!
I've always found The Lion King an uneven experience. Technically impeccable, but the second half with grown Simba is SO much less engaging than the first half. The Little Mermaid, though, was transformative - for the studio and a generation of awestruck children, paving the way for The Lion King
for me “doom scrolling” is actually just the pathological hunt for the first piece of news that indicates this whole unbearable moment is about to unravel
Weird feeling to hate someone I’ve never met and will never interact with so much. It’s debilitating how much I hate him.
Phoenix
A week of high temps in the 90s
It’s March, man, what the fuck are we doing
Pinocchio should be taking the whole thing in a walk, but I digress.
don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free
If the Democratic party wants to win, they should run somebody people want to vote for. What a concept!
to me it rocks that this company that has never come within light-years of making money and has a bad product with zero practical use cases is the pivot point of the global economy because a bunch of embarrassing Burning Man dorks just decided it should be
White woman in the desert
I live here now, where the emails cannot find me.
My brother, we had to explain a 1/3 pound burger was bigger than a quarter pound burger and still failed
Female cardinal on a rail looking empowered as shit
Barbara
Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs
Michael B. Jordan as dapper twins in Sinners
2026 watch #36: Sinners. Third watch, remains as electric as the first. Desperately hoping Michael B. Jordan takes home that Oscar. I know the convention is to have last year's Best Actress winner present it, but they should do a surprise swap and have Viola Davis read the card.
At least now she has a story
Easily the celebrity death that fucked me up the most
That's true, but Robin Williams is *so good* in this, so vulnerable and broken that he never comes across dangerous. Any other actor/performance, I'd probably hate it, but not him.
Oh man, I love The Fisher King
Eraserhead
2026 watch #35: Eraserhead. Got to show this to a bunch of film students seeing it for the first time on the big screen, and they were so buzzed when it ended they stayed for an hour to talk about it. The kids are alright.
Kristi Noem on her first day as Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas
Because the Democratic party is shot through with the rot of white supremacy, too. If Platner suffered a consequence, so would all his white supporters and their fine, upstanding sons with Nazi skeletons in their closets.
Big flat smartphones are difficult to hold to your face and hard to hear out of, no headphone jack, earbuds are expensive. Rudeness and entitlement are at all-time highs, but also so many people are too tired and stressed to perform basic civility.
My brain knows Beauty and the Beast is the best, but my heart is with Aladdin.
My extremely obvious answers are Hamlet and A Midsummer Night’s Dream, but if I just want to have a hoot, Titus Andronicus is delightfully fucked up
