The Tweeter Formerly Known as akachela

Oh this was not a knock, we got so jealous watching her we ordered one ourselves lol

My dad did one summer on his uncle's farm and went "fuuuuuck this shit" and decided to go to college instead

OMG my grandma was also a lunch lady 🤣 and then a thruway toll taker in the elements! Yes, standing for 8 hours but in a slightly climate controlled booth. Grandpa became a chauffeur for Beechnut company execs

I'm still salty that I could have gotten citizenship...if my grandma applied before my dad was born

I reapplied twice IN THE CAR today

Mom: Naples [Florida] is so Italian.
Me: yeah, cause Boca Raton is for the New York Jews and Naples is for the New York Italians.
Mom: so where are the Irish?
Me: in New York where our asses belong

Not a criticism, I wish I had her posture! It was just funny to see how hard she went at it

We ordered one after watching her and I can confirm it was incredible

I mean, it looked so good we ordered one ourselves so not a knock, it was just funny

I've never seen so many Buc-ee's shirts outside an actual Buc-ee's

It really set the mood before walking into the bathrooms to find stainless steel prison toilets and barely any AC

Same attitude: my mom briefly owned a bakery and had SO many people apply because they thought it would be fun to hang out and decorate cakes and cupcakes all day and what the hell do you mean I have to also do the dishes and mop the floors and lift 50lb bags of flour

I'm enjoying this thread getting roundly dunked on but this has to be the funniest one. Both my grandparents sold the family farms and got out of it as soon as it was viable because farming is backbreaking. There are no days off on the farm!

Everyone at a Florida highway rest stop looks exactly how you would expect for a person at a Florida highway rest stop

Our balcony faces the causeway and we have sat out there every night and when this comes on my parents go "is this your song?"

Goddamn, how do you always have the most immaculate reference 😂

Currently at the bar of a steakhouse and there is a bleach blonde fit Pilates instructor type across from us. She just got served a baked potato and is dumping toppings on it like it's her first real meal in a month

DREW

One of my favorite books I read last year was "Monsters: A Fan Dilemma" which had an exceedingly good take on JKR

This would have been right at home on my mom's 2004 "Stupid Bushism" page a day calendar

My translucently pale Irish skin under the Florida sun all week

"there is a pedophile with dementia who has the power by law to kill everyone on earth for any reason at any time" is a literally true fact

the fact that this is public knowledge but it's scandalous and radical to say it is unfathomably weird, real king's clothes hours

he is a pedophile who has dementia. none of this should be even slightly surprising and it's depressing that it is

😭 I'm refusing to think about it until the day of my flight

Damn, I was just at Epcot on Friday! (Get the chilaquiles from the Mexico booth if you haven't already)

At 5 they told us god loves us all unconditionally but if we sin we'll go to hell and even at that age I was like "well hold on, that sounds like a pretty big condition to me"

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

Oh honey, you're so close

(Also, understandable?!)

My dad did my taxes while I was a dependent and I took over once I wasn't. I have never paid to file federal or state taxes ever. It's a fucking scam you have to in the first place