Charles Haden Sewage

And this man, with tears in his eyes, said thank you Mr Trump for bringing back long little dogies. And folks, the dogies are gonna be even longer and more little than ever before. I don't if they're like a wiener dog or a big bulldog or what they are, but none of them are a French bulldog anymore

Tom Crean for incessantly talking shit to him while he was at Indiana

You made it to Men’s Humor Facebook

New sleep paralysis demon unlocked

I tried multifocals recently and hated them. I gave it a week, then decided to bite the bullet and just use readers.

🎵 I, I gotta pocket full of Lichtenstein 🎵

I don't know how large the Kentucky niche audience will be, but they won't be a quiet one. That cunt has made us look stupid for entirely too long.

Feels like Excitable Boy should be on this list

Did she say if she was able to get valet parking for the unicorn she rode to the theater?

speaking of has been, Kid Rock!

Grynnyn Barrett had a prior commitment

Sponsored by Kmart

Cranjis McBasketball ass lineup

I guess the Pepsi Clear channel already had its programming full

I'm reading this as though you had a stroke halfway through. Which, you may have.

Stevie Wonder playing the Opry is killing me

If you answer “No” you get an invitation to Mar-a-Lago

The Norman Rockwell painting meme of that guy standing up like "oooh, look at me, I have 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘴; blah blah blah"

I have sciatica, so I have to periodically stand up to stretch my muscles. It's not always an expression of my personal beliefs.

Telling them how disappointed you are will surely make them leave. Or you could get off your decrepit ass and DO SOMETHING for once. Your consistent inaction makes you nearly as culpable for the current state of affairs as this administration.

This adminstration doesn't give a shit about lost lives or American values. Compounding the problem is the fact that it's hard to enact change because Congress has too many GOP sycophants and gutless Democrats.

“Everyone should be allowed to carry a gun for their safety but the government can murder you in the street if you have a gun” is an incredible endpoint for the conservative moment

Improve a movie title by adding “With Big Naturals”

Pecker With Big Naturals

Ordered a single but drank a double

The absolute accuracy of this.

PORK CHOP CASH

When my wife asks why I just took $60 out of the ATM:

Mickey Rourke paying for his gas, even though the cashier tells him to fill up for free after he beat the shit out of a would-be robber in Harley-Davidson and the Marlboro Man.

He's gonna lose his shirt either way

The Cumberland, not far from my backyard

Slightly diminish a band.

Neutral Milk Motel

He obviously confused the Doosan for a Bobcat