Spence

Live más? En esta economía??

When outfitting your apartment gym, it's important to pick the most obscure, least popular equipment.

I understand anxiety exists to keep you safe, but do I really need to have locker combination nightmares at 31?

Pork Chop O'Clock

Is everything okay? You've hardly touched your existential dread.

Getting wine drunk and leaving all my earthly possessions to a stranger's baby on Instagram.

Idk man my feelings are pretty tasty.

Straight to jail

Hey, I'm not sorry I'm late.

Sorry I'm late, I had to squeeze every bump on my body.

Turns out the cure for Sunday scaries is unemployment.

We have to stop putting cream cheese in sushi. It's gone too far.

It's the happiest place on earth - until I get back.

Please consider handing out mints on flights instead of snacks. I'm begging.

To be honest, I didn’t make life choices as though I would be living past 35

Rationing outrage is the self-care of 2025.

How many bad things can you know about before you go insane

Tom Cruise does his own stunts because he wants to die

No one talks about tattoos more than someone who doesn't have them. We get it, you're a dork.

A q-tip cleaning so good, you hit the factory reset button.

Do kids still draw sunglasses on the sun or have we abandoned all whimsy?

Sorry I'm late - I had to inspect every square inch of my body.

If I'm a dick to you either you were a dick first or we're really really good friends.

Dad cap on at the gym because turns out I need blinders like a horse.

One thing about me is that I'm gonna sweat.

You want me to work? On Pi Day??? Be serious.

In every Sims house I ever built, I included an espresso machine because I thought it was the height of luxury. And I was right, it is.

Watch as I turn this harmless bump into a gaping flesh wound.

Being the eldest daughter has the added responsibility of maintaining the family lore.