augh

Increasingly of the opinion that the correct answer to the Trolley Problem is "fuck you, why are you so fixated on finding reasons to justify killing people?"

NeoToyota the cybercar that liberated Wales

Stews are available across the land

never ask your girlfriends dad if you can get married, cause he might say yes and then it takes forever to get divorced from him

A thing that I have discovered that you don't actually have to do is comment on things that you don't understand.

there aren't enough violent and destructive rivalries between professional magicians these days. we should go back to doing that.

the heart is a lumpy lopsided fist of a muscle yet I have resisted the urge to hit you with it you're welcome

Find words and kill them

our annoying ass future

It’s not going to stop bro. Learned that from a Paul Thomas Anderson movie

Imagine a burger,

Sometimes it sits with me and sets down its drink that an illusion would get up and leave without this furniture. We believe in each other we're comfortable, as long as I vacuum right through reality's slippers

(Dark enlightenment mf’s getting darkly enlightened) so you mean to say I can devote my life to evil… for profit?? 🧐🧐🧐

go-gurt keeps going at a constant speed and in a straight line unless acted on by an unbalanced force. that's why they gotta put it in 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘶𝘣𝘦.

Looks a lot better as a semitransparent star wars hologram

“Listen here, libturd.”
~accidentally crashes global oil production for a generation or more on a whim~

Five secretions to get to know me by:

one of the reasons i keep my windows open at night is that, often, at around 2 am, i hear a man's anguished, horrified screaming. not sure it's the same man but it's usually the same scream

I saw a group post this and have to say that it is amazing.

But not right now i gotta go

Going to be on here again intermittently saying things that are neither interesting nor funny JOIN ME IN THIS INCREDIBLE JOURNEY

my weeds are more colorful than theirs, and other pep talks I give myself

HAMSTER WHEEL IN MY HEAD,
rusted

Parsley Sounds Ease Yourself and glide YouTube video by Alf

One more for the evening (the "banger" if such an album can be said to have bangers)

Ben Franklin invented the death kite

Saturn without its rings asking everything what it really thinks about Saturn and you still pretend to laugh at all my witty gazes in the planetarium

"they died surrounded by their family and friends" and none of them did anything to help? wow

Hold on, I need time to go back home and cover myself in egg yolk before I can go out again.

IT'S FINE, YOU CAN HAVE IT, I DON'T WANT IT. ONE LESS HOUR TO BE SAD ANYWAY.

Mfers