Crystal Ethan

Conservatives: we can't stop school shootings with gun control. It's a mental health crisis!

Also Conservatives:

You can't hear it, but University of Tennessee tool 'cloaks' songs to protect music from AI "This is the first of its kind. Before this, there's no tool that can prevent music from being learned by generative AI."

For my musician friends who don’t want their music stolen for genAI www.knoxnews.com/story/news/e...

[shows up to my rap battle and my opponent is Dr Seuss]

“fuck”

Your horoscope for today:
Be like a deciduous tree - stop what you're doing, drop everything, and sleep through the long cold winter.

The finished paint jobs.

Oh boy, here I go painting again

4 and it's not close

What are your New Year's resolutions?

1. more wine, more free time
2. more curly fries & cash
3. more Muppets & moss
4. sleep for 1,000 years

That's a Photoshop of Nicholas Cage and no one can convince me otherwise

When The Rich Tell You Who They Are, Believe Them The capitalist who just told the world that capitalism requires hurting workers

Some people will tell you it's "too radical" or "too extreme" to say capitalism relies on hurting workers.

But what about when a millionaire CEO says it?

That's exactly what Tim Gurner said when he advocated for more unemployment and more economic pain.
www.jphilll.com/p/when-the-r...

the opposite of egg mcmuffin is chicken mcdickout

They say you should dress for the job you want, but I've been dressing like a Victorian sea captain's widow for years and haven't received a single offer of employment.

Oliver anthony: Peoples crying bout burning coal, but not the poor souls whose digging it. I reckon there's been a many good man in the grave trying to keep our houses lit. Down in the oil fields, the pipelines, the linemen, the coal mines. So we can sit at home and plug in new fangled bullshit.

This is what vibes with no analysis gets you. The people concerned about burning coal are actually the exact same people promoting unions and giving a shit about miners.

@poisonjr cis people flirting: how rubbery that pussy 🙈 trans people flirting: you need to hold me down by my weak little bee wings and use me. we have to repopulate the hive UPDATE for all the people who asked me to explain this Apologies for the erratic behavior, forgetfulness, and breakdowns this past year, friends! The water heater guy came this morning and found a gas leak 3 feet from my bed.

Still a banger

THERAPIST: We discussed your fear of large animals recently

ME: [nodding]

THERAPIST: But I want to address the elephant in the room

ME: [spitting out drink] the what now

“Whoever you fight, your opponent is always yourself." -- someone who has never been attacked by crocodiles while skinny dipping

Detective Baby: We got you dead to rights, dirtbag.
*suspect puts face in hands*
Detective Baby: HE'S ESCAPED

The best part about this argument we've been hearing from Centrists for 30+ years - "If we throw (vulnerable demographic) under the bus we can get (ostensible liberal priority)!!!" - is how they repeatedly do the throw-under-bus part then come up with some unrelated excuse not to do the policy part.

Conspiracy theorist Stew Peters tweet claiming there’s a guy pretending to be John Fetterman because Fetterman grew a mustache and is wearing glasses.

A photo of the classic Groucho Marx “fake disguise” costume which consists of a fake mustache, nose, and glasses.

right wing conspiracy theorists are now openly admitting they would 100% fall for the classic fake disguise costume

I threatened to do it yesterday, so here it is: andor scenes as dril tweets

who called them false teeth and not substitooths

Street signs: the top one says “no parking any time” with an arrow pointing to the left / the bottom one says “60 min parking all other times”

I may be too firmly grounded in the space-time continuum to park here.

Deep down, don't we all want the same thing?
To be roaming lost highways with a drunk badger in our motorcycle sidecar, the library detectives hot on our trail as we laugh at the madcap thrill of being alive?

hiking was invented in 1674 when augustus hike forgot how to stop walking

Not all who wander are lost.
Some of us are simply searching for a fine blimp, a crew of our own, and wild skies to roam.

me: I quit, here's my badge and gun

zookeeper: your what

They stopped making ghosts just after the civil war. You’ll never see a ghost with a man bun or hitting a juul

(me making fun of your crop rotation idea and thereby holding our people back another 5000 years) jeff thinks the beans have to take turns lmao