'Moo

Fall in love with a person who enjoys your madness. Not an idiot who forces you to be normal

The two best things about the good old days is we weren't good and we weren't old!

And there wasn't any social media around to document our behavior 😁

I don't think I could ever really complete anyone, but driving someone insane sounds doable

Have a groovy Saturday!

Happy Pi Day as well

If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication

Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever

💯

Ignoramus: adj. Someone who is both stupid and an asshole

Dogs be like, I made a list of reasons you should hang out with me today. I am fun. I am soft, I will listen to your silly human problems. You can pick the snacks. I love you

🐕💙

Coffee is vital for survival. Dinosaurs didn't have coffee, and look how that turned out

I, apparently, have given up sleep for Lent? Moar coffee!

Good morning to you!

😯

Thank you 😁

I don't care where I am. I WILL hang your toilet paper roll the right way (over, not under)

And straighten your pictures

Puppy giving puppy eyes: Don't judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I've changed since then

Child playing with farm set, has all the animals in one fenced area except a cow. The cow is off in a separate fenced area alone. That one cow must be a real asshole

Probably a bull that needs to be separated, they most certainly can be assholes

Shepherd to sheep dog: I think it's time to cut your bangs - you've been guarding a pile of rocks all day

Cartoon cat holding a cup of coffee with a disgruntled look on its face: Shhh, my coffee and I are having a moment. I will deal with you later

Good morning!

Blooming forsythia bush

The forsythia is finally blooming ❤️

Well, I'm certainly turned on right now 😉

Error 404: Motivation not found. Installing coffee

Anyone else been up half the night? I woke up at 2:00 a.m. and haven't been back to sleep. It's going to be a long day

If you were wondering about my culinary skills...I've been asked to bring paper towels to our family gatherings.

I am actually not terrible in the kitchen, but I despise cooking, so I prefer to bring the paper towels 😂

A pig sits atop a house made of skulls. "The fourth little pig's house was made of wolf skulls. They aren't very sturdy, but they send a message"

I don't mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide

My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity. I told him "no, we all seem to be having a great time with it"

A pie chart of time spent in the shower. Small portion: cleaning myself. Larger portion: mmMm, hot worter

Yes 🚿

Hey, can I get an ETA on "this too shall pass?"

I just got some sad news: apparently someone doesn't like my attitude.
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Please give me a nanosecond to recover from my grief.

A silhouette of a man and a moose: I see a little silhouetto of a man, scare a moose, scare a moose...

Can you do the fandango?

I read somewhere that being sarcastic on a regular basis can add up to three years to your life. If that's true, I'm gonna live forever!

How to dog toy, a story in 4 panels. 1st panel - dog sees toy and exclaims, "Oh boy! My toy!" 2nd panel - dog grabs toy with its mouth and says, "it's so fluffy!" 3rd panel - dog says, "it makes me happy!" 4th panel - dog is ripping it apart, "I love it"