Tom

Blast! My 1800s industrial machine roommate is keeping his equipment near my provisions again

Dale Cooper, last episode of The Return: “what hour is this” instead of year

The front cover for Love and Peace, a graphic novel. The cover image is Richard Nixon meeting CIA employees outside of Langley, including Paul, the main character of the comic.

Mariah Carey really said “I don’t want a lot for Christmas, just an entire human being”

Why is he wearing jeans

When you’re out of underwear and you don’t have time to do laundry, so you have to wear the pair of panties a girl gave you three years ago

I think it’s cool how if you walk into Subway, the workers are always surprised that anyone would eat there

You gotta expose yourself to the Disney’s of the world every once in a while in order to stay humble and remained balanced

You need to go to Chic Fil A by Times Square for lunch on a Friday before Christmas to remind yourself of the human condition

My New Year’s Resolution is to consume less and produce more, but unfortunately that doesn’t work for poop

They should have both a men’s bathroom and a boy’s bathroom, for when you want to pee, but you don’t want it to be so serious and high stakes

Can you guys stop making the ideology-based assassination so political?

Say what you will about the mayor being a fascist, at least the train also doesn’t run on time

Bro I had 8 beers and suddenly the Assad regime falls huh

Maybe it’s the five beers, but I feel like I would join the Marines

“I can’t believe I know what Hawk Tuah Meme Coin Rug Pull means”

I can, language is an ever evolving creature that has been growing and changing for thousands of years. You really thought it would slow at your behest?

When you don’t get shot in the back

Working on my novel

Someone just tried to spill water on my time piece
Uhhh not on my watch!

Joe Biden’s pardon covers Hunter Biden’s actions from 2014 through 2024.

2024 isn’t over yet, he still has 29 days to do what is right

Joe Biden and Donald Trump definitely get along well in the old man way of like, they both like hard candy

These cows are gathering in a circle to worship some kind of new god we can’t even fathom

Damn bro, your family looks loving as hell

Watching the National Dog Show with my parents and they started arguing over what’s more important, breeding or grooming…

What are we, on Discord?

wow the parade this year was crazy

There’s actually a lot of money in business. I definitely recommend business to anyone who’s looking to earn a little extra cash

Being home for the holidays is awesome, I haven’t showered in three days, I’ve only brushed my teeth once this week, and I’m consuming 3000+ calories every day with no physical activity at all

Just connected with my one of my oldest friends who I met in first grade on LinkedIn, huge things could come from this

only girl in my fantasy football league, I’m soooo drunkkkkk

Every single time

If you don’t look like this after the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, you’ve failed