Nick

I wonder if Boebert was billed for the wasted time?

"We're the new old fuddy-duddy tory party."

Would you Adam and Steve it?

Trump. Either lying, or lying with random capitalisation.

Only from the neck up...

Not sure how you find the time for all the podcasting and telly appearances and stuff, what with fronting the Met's recruitment campaign too.

After brexit, "I/my girlfriend bought a house", hanging out with Odey, Tate, MacGregor, Nathan Gill, Trump et al, Farage should just sit down and shut up if the topic of conversation is "lack of judgement".

Well, Farage has survived screwing up the country with Brexit, "Hey Crispin, look what I did to sterling!", losing countless by-elections, "I bought a house in Clacton, oops, no I didn't", "I never knew Nathan Gill, or the Russian ambassador, etc."

"Somebody has just looked into it for you, Mr. President, and it turns out you're lying again."

Leave it, Dobbin, he's not worth it...

"This individual" presumably refers to the ICE agent...

Yes. Unfortunately the individual in question was the ICE officer.

His finger would have grown back. Like his ear did.

Michelle Obama is a pyromaniac?

Perhaps one of the actors with multiple Oscars would sacrifice one by presenting it to Trump whilst convincing him that he'd won it for best acting as president, and now the film was over he could go home and not come back.

This is Robert Jenrick. The most damaging way he could defect is to not defect.

1999, that would have meant using one of those cassette recorder things, presumably...

And he didn't get the chance to finish his final book, "Dilbert's Struggle".

Another stable genius...

I didn't believe Farage at first, but once Zia Yusuf said it was feasible, how could you doubt them...?

Is that John Miles making a four man band sound like a full orchestra?

Fixed it.

Starsky and Hutch

How about 'It's like that Klopp, Actually by Laura Lexx, but less teutonic?'
You could still get a book out of it though.

It's like that Russ Jones' "A week in Tory", but more believable.
And less often.
Do you think you could get a book out of it?

Snowman(hood)

The White House has been caught.

The administration inserted a photo of Bill Clinton, Michael Jackson, and Diana Ross into the Epstein files and falsely implied it showed them with victims.

In reality, it’s a publicly available fundraiser photo featuring Jackson and Ross’s own children.

The Shite Tripes