🇨🇦 Dan (Derogatory) 🇨🇦

The time change?! They don’t understand the time change!

Using the time change to adjust the cats dinner from 6pm to 7pm 🤭

Need WW3 to hold off one more week

Giving some dick after the Photoshoot😈🔥 @boyinhd.bsky.social

830pm and the upstairs neighbor has decided to rearrange the furniture.

We text just don’t call each other 🤣

He called to tell me he was going to get married on my birthday and asked if I’d be free 🤣

Spoke to my brother on the phone for the first time in 6 years today (when he moved to Canada) and he now has the thickest Canadian accent 🤣🤣🤣

The drunk uncle theory.

You don’t argue with the casually homophobic uncle at Thanksgiving dinner to change his mind; you argue so that the closeted cousin at the kids table knows there’s safe people and better possibilities out there

‘Move for one more minute to make progress on your Stand goal’

It’s 5:50am watch. Let’s chill.

My show is on

Let’s improve your sample size

One blow could kill a man

That was so good omg

Once the Pokémon commercial airs I’m going to bed.

Gaga???

Got to be a principal and announce a snow day tomorrow :)

Had to have a disciplinary meeting today and I didn’t cry 🤩 (I was doing the disciplining)

The only other straight man I know is my brother and that’s questionable sometimes

There’s only one straight man I like (my father)

Whose fault was it?

Gym was packed because of the holiday. And on top of that two people got in a fight 🫠 aren’t endorphins supposed to make you happy?

🫠

I do not understand this comment 🫠

I just know the movie..,

Watching Charlie’s Angels for the first time 🤩

I love my mother but in the process of sending me money via Zelle did she call me to verify that she had the correct phone number in her contact list? I haven’t changed my number in 10+ years.

Xanax o’clock. Happy new year 😘

“See you next year” will never not be amusing to me.

Taking an uber because it’s 26° outside. Why is his window open?!? Its freezing in here too now 🫠