Can't we just deploy the cosplaying patriots that play war in the forest every weekend they don't have court supervised time with their kids?
09.03.2026 15:00
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Can't we just deploy the cosplaying patriots that play war in the forest every weekend they don't have court supervised time with their kids?
Do I still write US Treasury on my tax payment check or should I just cut out the middle man and write To Donald with Hate?
Pam Bondi would have dumped the bucket of blood on Carrie.
Are the Razzie awards for the worst in film still around? This might be the year to bring them back.
Did this happen because Biden takes naps?
I wrote this for those of us who've told a loved one to get down from a ladder, and those of us who will soon be told to get down from a ladder by our children. Stay safe, people.
He seriously has no idea how numbers work and just screams high or low amounts like he's on The Dementia Price Is Right.
Yep. @wendiaarons.bsky.social. Hilarious. Long live Thelma and Louise. @texashighways.bsky.social
texashighways.com/travel/seein...
“While he watched over FaceTime, I slowly poured liquid Tylenol all over my naked body. I loved him enough to make myself autistic. He wept.”
I can’t unsee it 😫
@jilltwiss.bsky.social I was going to say the same. Love the Zach show.
“Our union represented the endless cycle of life, death, and rebirth, and the eternal, unending nature of time. Sometimes I didn’t know where the worm ended, and our love began.”
Olivia Nuzzi’s memoir about her affair with “The Politician” aka RFK, Jr. drops tomorrow, but if you just can’t wait, Emily Flake, @miriamjayaratna.bsky.social & I have some excerpts to tide you over on @mcsweeneys.net!
Over the river and through the woods
My checked bag has disappeared
It has all my meds. I wish I were dead
When did flying get so weird?
"In my tunic, you can’t see any of the middle part of my middle-aged body. I’m shrouded in mystery. I’m a stylish enigma. I’m a greying fortune cookie with a fortune inside it that says, 'Fuck you, I was in shape in the eighties.'"
🎶 Over the river and through the woods,
To Grandmother's house we go;
At the airport on time, which is good cause the lines
Are moving super slow... 🎶
A fun piece in @newyorker.com today by me, @miriamjayaratna.bsky.social and Ali Fitzgerald, inspired by Ronnie No Vaccines DeSantis. www.newyorker.com/magazine/202...
Now the nuts are claiming that "college radicalized" the shooter? He lasted one semester in Utah & dropped out -- not exactly Berkeley in 1967.
Honestly, we should all be kinder. Perhaps his ear injury is acting up after it regenerated itself lizard-style, or he suddenly developed an allergy to the ketchup used in the assassination attempt. Show some compassion, people.
@wendiaarons.bsky.social
Their attacks up your legs are so meticulously coordinated you almost have to respect it. 🐜
Screenshot of article about fire ants in Texas. Colorful art with cartoon drawing of an ant in the grass plus text
I got a mention in this excellent piece by @wendiaarons.bsky.social
📣🐜📣
www.texasmonthly.com/travel/why-f...
Walking out isn't a weakness. It's the only way to stop a rigged game when the dealer is cheating. If you can’t speak for your community inside the chamber, you take the fight outside it. stopthetexassteal.com
#WeStandWithTxDems #TxLege
I’m on @mcsweeneys.net today with some ideas about how to get a good night’s sleep!
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/how...
"Millennials want their kids to relive their 1990s summers, but that won’t cut it, because the 1990s had technology, stranger danger, and Coolio. No, I want to go back even farther, to a decade when parents didn’t put trackers on their children’s phones and women couldn’t vote."
"At daybreak, I’ll hand my children their metal lunch pails, button their fifty-button shoes, and they’ll shuffle off to their factory jobs, because in the Gilded Age, and southern states in the 2020s, no snowflake child labor laws exist."
Excellent parenting advice from @wendiaarons.bsky.social!
