Dishwasher advert:
"Our super silent NASA technology is so super silent you'll think you left it in space. Put your baby in and they won't wake up. So quiet we've put a light to shine on the floor to tell you it's on"
Dishwasher:
SPLUURRRRCLUURRWHHUURRRRRSSPLLURRR
I DAZZLE YOU AT NIGHT NOW AS WELL
The perfect sort, easy travel, home at a sensible time, food after, yes please
Public toilet soap dispenser roulette.
Win = soap
Lose = share bacteria with hundreds if not thousands of the unsoaped masses
Followed by an absolute belter of a proper pen
Oofft, love to see a panenka saved
#TheFootball
It has taken me way too long to try to figure out what word 'Contiversary' was a typo of before realising
I got caught out by an AI phone receptionist today. I am ashamed, and sorry, it won't happen again
Back on my (Substack) bullshit. Writing is good mentally. This one's Leicester Comedy Festival.
I have mixed experiences. Great festival, sure. Although, a comedian stole my picture taken here for their banner, no credit, acknowledgement - I am in NO WAY bitter.
open.substack.com/pub/siturner...
I've just seen the latest comedian with 'questionable views on X', they've been long off my radar
The only time I've ever seen them was a mixed bill where they tried and tried and tried to start a standing ovation for themselves, it was bad, I don't think it was a 'bit'. No memory of the set itself
A football match with the score in the top left of the screen (correctly). The subtitles are inexplicably also placed in the top left, covering the score and the time
As long as it's a joint campaign to sort subtitles out as well
The idea of supporting Chelsea over an upset is crazy, and yet here we are
James Vowles is consistently the most underrated 'content' in any Drive to Survive season
Hate* to be that guy, but I've just cut the grass in shorts
*absolutely bloody love it
I don't understand how cars are so rigorously tested to within an inch of their life for safety, across multiple global standards.
And yet this 2 tonne box of metal lets me hear both sides of your conversation with auntie Carol through the fully shut doors and windows with exceptional clarity.
It's the Live Nation monopoly. It's impossible to tour an arena size show without them.
I've simply stopped going to the big artists myself (and comedians). Local venues and festivals are the way
I'm just waiting for a call can you let me know when I get one
My phone: got it, all noises activated
No no, just this next call
Phone: emails, FULL VOLUME
*Sigh* can you at least set it back for me in an hour?
PHONE GO CLICKY FOR EVERYTHING NOW
No, you're right, silly me. When I said sort low to high, what I actually wanted to see first were some more expensive, irrelevant, sponsored items
Shopping sites that don't reset the sorting each time I change a filter, I like you guys.
Shopping sites that default the sort to "price: low to high" when I first go on, absolute bffs
I don't think I've ever phoned up a company to find out their opening hours, it certainly shouldn't be the first option on any phone system
I find the amount of gambling adverts in football absolutely insane, but I get it, money.
I find it even worse that Sky's coverage is sponsored by the British Army
This is your Sunday reminder to turn on MFA on any account you can when you see it, lest you be locked out of your worlds forever
When my TV freezes, it can remember every single button press and replay then with such accuracy and speed once unfrozen.
But if I uninstall, or even move the Netflix app the very next day "oopsie, I forgot you didn't want that, it's back"
It really is excellent, the story is great and I love all the cast. I get so happy when I recognise the next voice
Also, the admin of some of those member rewards sounds like a whole job in itself
Actually, even ignoring the podcast for a minute (if you can). This is just excellent value if you're planning to see Mark at some point for the tickets alone.
I'd quite imagine this would be a Martin Lewis hack for a Watson fan
Right! They're just so big
They're SO BIG. I don't understand why this isn't talked about daily
Have you seen how big cars in America are? Like seriously the size of them?
I know they have bigger (ha) problems over there right now. But seriously, have you seen how big the cars are?
I don't feel like people appreciate how big the cars actually are over there. They're so big
A screen shot from Mark Watson's patreon. With a notable line: Unlimited MW show tickets each year (within reasonable limits)
"reasonable" could be an interesting definition to test for someone with time on their hands
Just changed the batteries in my remote instead of swapping them round for the fiftieth time so you could say my Friday night is going pretty well.
Duracell and everything
