Jon

You didn’t get your special rock. BUT. There are cranberry rolls… #CriticalRoleSpoilers

Honestly I’ve been to funerals just like this. Even with bequeathed swords. And corpse spit. #CriticalRoleSpoilers #Criticalrolecampaign4

Lanterns are lit. And so are the tits. Good lawd Marisha. #CriticalRoleSpoilers #criticalrolecampaign4

#criticalrolespoilers Matt and Marisha on the same side of the same table. Sleeves are (and remain) bullshit

Quick life advice: if you drink whisky right after consuming Rita’s you will be peeing every 10 minutes for the rest of your life.

Texas officials blaming a neutered National Weather Service for faulty forecasting is ground zero for why these people will never see the cause n effect relationship between their choices and their suffering. It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

They’re using fucking GMAIL?!

No one should owe interest on a Taco Bell delivery

Reading comprehension is a lost art in this, the darkest timeline

Y’all understand that Gaza won’t exist, right? That Palestinians are about to disappear, right? Have you vote-abstaining, Jill Stein write-in enlightened beings figured out that the imperfect choice was far better than the definitely fascist one yet?

Shakira. Good lord.

Welp.

Welcome TikTok refugees! We’re just like TikTok…except so much less video content and far far more reading than you’d ever envision yourself doing - enjoy I guess!

Just a photo of the old man getting his rest. You should also take a nap.

Of course UnitedHealth over-charged cancer patients for their meds.

OF. COURSE. THEY. DID.

What bloody timeline do you guys think we’re living in?

Wait. Am I late to this? The app that’s a “national security threat” is shutting down on Sunday, but the app with the actual Chinese spies on is just…available for download?

Cool. Cool. Cool.

It’s gonna get to a dystopian point where the accepted end of every American worker is ritual un-aliving once they’ve reached the age of obsolescence for their given field as determined by government productivity tables

So like…we’re all moving here now, right? RIGHT?

Being in my 40s update: there are four grades of hemorrhoids…FOUR

I am here. We are all here.