World Ahead

Poster body language is reading "even conservative weirdos sometimes have to grey rock their way through a family dinner with that one uncle"

Baby birds murdering their smaller/weaker siblings

Well. The author of this article will be getting a chilly reception if they try to sit with us at brunch at the country club next weekend, I can tell you that.

Some of us came up with Austin Powers and have very high - nigh unreachable, some say - standards for penis hiding

Once we've introduced them to the idea of "no ... still bigger than that," we're still going to have to do a whole semester on what an industrial port is like

Guy going "uhhhhhhhhh, tktktktk" speaks for us all

Training the cartography bot solely on late night tv man-on-the-street skits where they ask passersby to label as many countries as possible in 15 seconds

put the booths outdoors on the parade route and line up the beer trucks, it'll be the highest turnout in decades!

My birthday is in early March and it took years of school before history class got around to explaining why I always got a 3-day weekend as a birthday present.

So you're saying it's already tasted human flesh

Next you'll be suggesting usage limits and consequences for violating them and *flings handheld watering can over the back fence as code enforcement drives by*

CHARGE for water?? No one's ever done such a thing *hides my spreadsheet showing amount of water used & prices paid, from every utility bill I've ever gotten*

has she started her consultancy firm yet? she could make a mint.

this would work. bears really REALLY DON'T LIKE anything that comes at them making noise and acting big. As soon as you decide to stand up for yourself they think, "It's 1/3 my size, it should be scared, WHAT DOES IT KNOW THAT I DON'T?"

quick someone check the transport buffers

Mind games. How do you perform on Celebrity Heads Up?
Go ahead, figure out which of us is "Stanley," we dare you.

The pioneers who settled the west (ohio) stole them all. Go in far enough, you'll end up needing the warshroom key at your next gas stop.

If the surprise is a large quantity of Turkish Delight, tell her I said no and stop asking.

Did not realize the deer had achieved warp technology

Gentrification here, so far, seems to be nothing BUT condos.
We got a couple shops in one spot .... but mostly, 1-2 levels of parking garage, oodles of condos on top.

the news a few months back was that they couldn't even give them away

If Waffle House is with us, who can stand against us?

My politics are "who's the loudest voice in this room at this exact moment" 😭

Can you ddos a human 🤔

Any excuse to get a "dumb broads" out in the air 😒

There's nothing wrong with feeling a certain attraction to the idea of being able to make your own bread and live a "traditional" lifestyle, if that's what you want.

There IS something wrong with thinking we should disenfranchise huge swaths of the population to force them to do it with you.

Ghosts need pipes to make ominous noises in. If you build them their own pipes, they might leave your functional plumbing alone.

I think you should bring this hypothesis to the Plumber Huddle ASAP; they may need to add an exorcist to the team.

This is how I'm learning that AFHV still exists???

It may not NEED butter, but it still might WANT butter

30 years on I can (VERY GRUDGINGLY) say it was worth it because I'm about the only person I know around my age who knows how to can stuff.

But if I want to put anything up for myself ....... I just pay for the beans or berries.